What It Feels Like To Be In A Sexless Marriage?

If you are wondering about what is the sexless marriage or what are the particular parameters for identifying your marriage to be a sexless one. Or if you are also thinking that if you are the only one to be talking over here and want to get a detailed idea of the scenario and whether there is any standard definition then you have landed in the right page. 

After looking at various definitions especially according to The Social Organization Of Sexuality, the particular definition of a sexless Marriage is when the married couples are not engaging themselves in sexual activities or they are having minimum encounters which are sexual.

sexless marriage _ichhori.com.webp

What is a Sexless Marriage ?

"A sexless marriage is a marital union in which little or no sexual activity occurs between the two spouses. The US National Health and Social Life Survey in 1992 found that 2% of the married respondents reported no sexual intimacy in the past year."- wikipedia

As it has been defined by Dr. Rachel Becker Warner, who is an sex therapist said that any partnership where the occurrence of sexual intimacy is 10 times or less than that within a year is known as sex less marriage.

Definitely a dead bedroom which does not involve any sexual connection can bring up some painful emotions along with resentments which pushes the couple apart from each other. Studies show that in our country more than 15% of the women live sexless married lives where they have to suffer all throughout their life. The age group 35 to 45 years and above suffers the most and also tends to be the  group having highest percentage of faces the sexless marriage with their husband and that counts for 38%.  Whereas the age group 25 to 35 years accounts for only 6.2 %. Research also shows that mostly the men are reasonable for carrying out a sexless marriage due to various reason and it accounts for 35% whereas 12% of the women are responsible for the sexless marriage. But studies shows that more than 50% of the women blames themselves for their sex lives marriage even if it is not their fault and we are going to see some stories related to it over here.

Reasons for having a sex less marriage

  • The couples who are not able to communicate properly especially about their intimate matters like sex, and as communication is the key so the couples end in having a sex less marriage who does not talk about it.
  • Stress is one of the main issues which triggers the sexless marriage as when a person who is stressed then the last thing occurring on their mind is sex.
  • Mismatched libido is another reason for having a bad sexual life because it’s normal for a couple having different sex drive and it is also normal for their sex drive to fluctuate over the time of their relationship. It means that it is not always necessary for you and your partner to stay on the same sexual page always. If not discussed about libido between each other, it ends up becoming a major issue.

Some women recorded there stories and their inner feelings who were suffering from sexless marriage 

 A few of the stories of sexless marriage :

1.One of the women says that her life of sexless marriage started when the conversation between her and her husband died. Their mundane and boring life had left no topics for conversation in between them. As the conversations ended, there was a natural progression to the spiritual and physical celibacy in between them. Although she tried to initiate the physical sex but there was no effort from the other side to kindle the desire between them through conversation and attention. It led her to loneliness slowly.

2.Another woman blamed herself and her body for her sex less marriage. She reported that the state of her marriage impacted her health. She suffered from severe depression and got totally detached from everything. As she was fat from the beginning and after marriage she left her job and it made her sit at home all the time increasing the pounds, her husband found her to be unattractive after some days and hence the differentiation started.

3.Similarly one more women went through a sexless period in their marriage because she got never arose. Her husband had a high  drive for sex and he even found her to be desirable but her hormone messed up and she also had an undiagnosed chronic illness. Although she loved sex, but she could not enjoy it having with the passing days and she started feeling frustrated as she was unable to give herself what she wanted. She also felt guilty because she thought that she had tied her husband forcefully in their relationship and also felt scared at the same time because she did not want to lose him.

4.Some women also revealed that even though their relationship did not start to be sexless but it ended up to be so. One of them used to had sex everyday after marriage and also put very much effort regarding this every time. But slowly and slowly due to their work pressure they became tired at the end of the day and sex, which was a regular affair between them in the beginning, they started to have it only on special occasions only and then they ended up not having it for two years. And some other factors were also there which ended their marriage. But it had hurt herself very much, not only her self image but her mental condition was also shattered. She could not start afresh for several years by thinking that no man would be interested in her because they would find her to be unattractive and it took her really a long time before she could trust another man for engaging in long-term relationship again.

5.Another woman said that she enjoyed sex and wanted to have it regularly with her partner and once she asked his partner to continue it like the previous night, but her partner says that she always made him stressed about their conjugal life and walked out. That rejection made her feel terrible and she started to think that he was not loving her like before. She became depressed and went under medication and slowly and slowly her relationship got over. There were various other issues and the more powerful one was the lack of intimacy which magnified all the other problems.

6.Another woman did not wanted to let her husband know that she was not enjoying the sex and that is why always hid her pain behind her smile. Instead of orgasms she always experienced pain so did not want to have sex at all. She thought her body was defective and damaged and did not even have the courage to visit a gynaecologist. Sometimes she tired herself to be sexual but she could not be so and it led her to more fear and shame besides anger and disappointment.

Definitely it is very sad and disappointing at the same time to have a sexless married life especially when one partner is not interested in it while the other partner wants to have it. Just like the problems there are solutions too, so to look up for our other articles to rekindle the sexual life between you and your partner once again. 





Previous Post Next Post