What Is Vaginismus & How to Deal with It
Vaginismus means involuntary pelvic‑floor muscle spasms that make penetration painful or impossible. It can affect sex, exams or tampon use—but there are clear and effective ways to heal.
What Causes Vaginismus?
- Physical triggers: injuries, childbirth trauma, infections or surgeries.
- Psychological causes: anxiety, fear, past abuse, relationship stress or low body confidence.
- Conditioned response: fear of pain triggers muscle tightening unconsciously.
Signs You May Have It
- Pain, burning or stinging when inserting tampons or during penetration.
- Inability to relax pelvic muscles even when wanting to.
- Fear or dread around sex, exams or gynaecological checks.
- Vagina feels tight despite lubrication and arousal.
How to Diagnose It
Diagnosis is via a pelvic‑floor physiotherapist or gynaecologist. They will:
- Review medical history and symptoms
- Carry out a gentle pelvic exam to check muscle response
- Recommend pelvic‑floor scans or tests if needed
Treatment Options
- Pelvic‑floor physiotherapy: Teaches control, relaxation and strengthening.
- Dilators: Gradual, guided stretching with vaginal dilators at home.
- Cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT): Aims to reduce anxiety and unhelpful thoughts.
- Sex therapy: Focuses on communication, arousal, comfort and gradual exposure.
- Relaxation techniques: Breathing, mindfulness, pelvic‑floor stretching.
Exercises You Can Try
- Pelvic drops: Lie on your back and relax pelvic floor like a ‘sigh’, 10 times daily.
- Breathing with dilators: Insert small dilator, breathe into it, focus on easing tension for 5–10 minutes.
- Mindfulness: Body scans or pelvic‑floor awareness reduces fear and increases relaxation.
Partner Support
- Open and patient communication—only progress when you're comfortable.
- Use lubrication and go at your pace—no pressure or goals during sessions.
- Couple therapy can help address relationship dynamics or emotional blocks.
When to Seek Specialist Help
- Pain or fear remains after trying home exercises
- History of abuse, PTSD or relationship issues
- Physical injury, chronic pelvic pain or unusual symptoms
Real‑Life Example
Emma felt fear around sex after childbirth. With guided pelvic‑floor physio, CBT and dilator use over 12 weeks, she gradually relaxed. With her partner’s support and sex therapy, penetration became comfortable again.
FAQs
1. Is vaginismus permanent?
No—most people significantly improve with treatment, and many fully recover.
2. How long does it take to heal?
With consistent work (physio, dilators, therapy), improvement often occurs in 8–12 weeks.
3. Can sex therapy help partners too?
Yes—it supports both people in communicating, rebuilding trust and reducing pressure.
4. Do pelvic-floor exercises alone work?
They help—but combining with therapy or sex support usually speeds recovery.
5. When should I see a gynaecologist?
If there are injuries, infections, persistent pain or if diagnosis isn’t clear—getting a proper exam helps guide treatment.
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Final Thought
Vaginismus is real and distressing—but it’s also treatable. With guided physio, therapy, self‑support and patience, you can overcome the fear and pain, and reconnect with your body and intimacy safely.