Wondering if your partner really loves you? Look for these 10 proven signs of love—and 5 red flags that could mean they don't.
That question hits hard. Especially when you’re lying next to them, but feel miles apart.
If you’ve been second-guessing their feelings, reading between texts, or wondering why something just feels “off” — you’re not crazy. But you do need clarity.
Love isn't what they say. It's what they show.
Some people say “I love you” every day — and still don’t show up emotionally. Others rarely say the words, but make you feel deeply seen, safe, and respected.
The key? Patterns. Real love has them. So does emotional avoidance. Here's how to tell the difference.
10 signs your partner truly loves you
- They remember the small things. Not just your birthday — but how you like your coffee, what songs make you cry, and what scares you.
- They prioritise your comfort. Even when it’s inconvenient for them. That coat around your shoulders? That’s love.
- They initiate repair after fights. Not every argument ends in silence. They come back and say, “Can we talk?”
- They root for your growth. They’re not intimidated by your glow-up. They support it — and want to grow with you.
- They make future plans with “we.” Not just “I.” If they include you in next month, next year, or even next week — that’s emotional investment.
- They respect your boundaries. They don’t test them. They listen. Adjust. Honour them.
- They check in — without being asked. Even on the busiest days, you’re not forgotten.
- They show affection in your love language. Whether it’s words, touch, or acts of service — they meet you where you feel it.
- They stay through discomfort. Real love isn’t all butterflies. They don’t dip when it gets tough.
- You feel emotionally safe with them. You can cry, rant, vent, joke — and still feel accepted. That’s everything.
And now, 5 signs they probably don’t love you (at least, not well)
- They avoid hard conversations. When conflict hits, they shut down, disappear, or get defensive. Love shows up. Avoidance hides.
- You never really know where you stand. If you're always guessing, it’s not love — it’s anxiety.
- They invalidate your emotions. “You’re overreacting.” “It’s not a big deal.” Red flag. Love doesn’t dismiss — it understands.
- They make you feel like a burden. Love carries. It doesn’t guilt-trip you for having needs.
- You’re giving more than you’re getting — constantly. That’s not giving. That’s depletion.
Quick gut check: How do you feel around them?
Love should feel like:
- Peace, not anxiety
- Safety, not walking on eggshells
- Warmth, not hot-and-cold confusion
If your gut keeps whispering “something’s off” — listen. Our nervous systems know before our brains do.
Mid-article reads that can help:
Backed by stats: What love actually looks like in 2025
- 58% of adults say emotional connection is more important than physical attraction in relationships (Pew Research, 2024)
- 71% of long-term couples say mutual respect is what keeps them together — not “chemistry” (APA)
- 1 in 3 people admit they’ve stayed in a relationship out of fear, not love (YouGov)
Most Googled love questions this year
- “How do I know if it’s love or attachment?”
- “Why does my partner feel distant lately?”
- “How do I ask if they love me without sounding needy?”
If your article answers these — you won’t just rank, you’ll connect.
What if they say they love me, but I don’t feel it?
Love is a verb. Saying “I love you” means nothing if their actions don’t reflect care, effort, and respect. Watch how they show up. Not just what they say when they mess up.
Love is rarely loud. But it’s always consistent.
If you feel calm with them, safe in silence, supported in growth, and steady even during hard days — you’re probably loved well.
If you’re constantly anxious, guessing, or chasing — you’re probably not.
More ichhori reads on real connection:
So, does my partner really love me? The answer’s in how you feel — not just what they say. You don’t need to be perfect. But you do deserve to feel safe, seen, and sure.