The biggest relationship dealbreakers and heartwarmers explained. Red and green flags you can’t ignore if you want real, lasting love.
The things that quietly end relationships, and the moments that make you stay. If you’ve ever wondered what really matters in love (beyond looks and surface compatibility), start here.
Dating in 2025 is wild. Fast swipes. Slow replies. People talking about “vibes” without ever naming what they want. But beneath all that noise, two things still matter most: your boundaries (dealbreakers) and your values (heartwarmers).
What are dealbreakers in relationships?
Dealbreakers are behaviours, attitudes, or values that you simply can’t live with in a partner. They aren’t preferences. They’re personal non-negotiables. And ignoring them? That’s how people stay stuck in the wrong relationship for way too long.
Top 10 relationship dealbreakers in modern dating
- Disrespect (verbal, emotional, or physical)
- Lack of communication or emotional availability
- Dishonesty or manipulation
- Refusing to apologise or take accountability
- Inconsistent effort
- Controlling behaviour or jealousy
- Love-bombing followed by ghosting
- Zero support for your dreams or goals
- Invalidating your feelings
- Gaslighting or blame-shifting
These aren’t minor flaws. These are patterns that slowly erode trust, safety, and connection. And when ignored? They don’t go away. They grow.
What are heartwarmers in relationships?
Heartwarmers are the moments, gestures, and energies that make you feel safe, seen, and loved — without asking for it. They’re the green flags. The stuff that reminds you, “This is how love is supposed to feel.”
10 heartwarmers that show someone really cares
- Consistent kindness — even on hard days
- Active listening, not just “hearing”
- Making you laugh without tearing you down
- Respecting your space and boundaries
- Remembering the little things
- Supporting your passions
- Apologising without excuses
- Protecting your peace, not disturbing it
- Showing up — not just when it’s convenient
- Being proud of you, not threatened by your shine
These are the invisible threads that create emotional intimacy. They might not trend on TikTok — but they’re what real love is built on.
Why we often ignore dealbreakers (and regret it later)
Because chemistry feels louder than red flags. Because we want connection so badly, we shrink our standards to avoid being “too much.”
But here’s the truth: when you ignore your dealbreakers, you’re not being chill — you’re abandoning your emotional safety for the hope of being chosen.
And when we overlook heartwarmers?
We chase fireworks and ignore the warmth. We ghost good people who make us feel calm — because chaos felt more familiar. But real love? It’s often quiet at first. Then powerful.
Internal reads to deepen your dating instincts:
How to name your own dealbreakers and heartwarmers
Take 10 minutes. Write down:
- Three things you’ve tolerated in past relationships that you never will again
- Three things someone once did that made you feel deeply safe and seen
That’s your relationship map. Your personal truth. Now honour it.
Green flags to look for early in dating
- They communicate clearly and with kindness
- They show effort without needing to be told
- You feel like you can be your full self — not a filtered version
Green flags aren’t rare. They’re just quiet. And when you’ve been stuck in red-flag cycles, peace can feel unfamiliar — but that doesn’t make it boring. It makes it real.
Also read:
The real definition of love? Boundaries + warmth.
Love without boundaries becomes chaos. Boundaries without warmth become walls. But when you combine both? You get a relationship where you’re seen, heard, respected — and still free.
Relationship dealbreakers and heartwarmers are your compass. Don’t ignore them. Honour them. They’ll take you exactly where you’re meant to be.