Have you ever been in a relationship where everything felt great — but you never met their friends, family, or saw them post about you online? You might be experiencing pocketing.
What Is Pocketing in Dating?
Pocketing is when someone intentionally keeps their partner a secret from their social or personal life. It's like they're putting the relationship in their "pocket" — hidden and out of sight.
This behaviour isn’t always malicious, but it can be a red flag. It shows up when one person refuses to introduce the other to key people in their life, avoids posting about the relationship, or acts single in public.
Common Signs of Pocketing
- You haven’t met their friends, even after months
- They avoid tagging or posting photos with you
- They dodge invites to meet your family or friends
- You’re not included in any personal events or gatherings
- They act differently around you in public
Why Do People Pocket Their Partners?
- Fear of commitment: They’re unsure or not serious about the relationship.
- Embarrassment: They might be insecure about how others will perceive you.
- Cheating or double life: They’re seeing other people or hiding something.
- Protective reasons: They’ve been hurt before or want to “protect” the relationship.
Is Pocketing Always a Red Flag?
Not necessarily. Some people take time to open up or introduce partners for cultural or personal reasons. But if the secrecy feels intentional, prolonged, and disrespectful — it’s a problem.
Healthy relationships involve inclusion, not hiding. You deserve to be part of your partner’s world — not treated like a secret.
What to Do If You Think You're Being Pocketed
- Have a direct conversation. Ask them why you haven’t been introduced to anyone yet.
- Watch their actions, not just words. Do they follow through on including you?
- Decide your boundary. If you need openness and they won’t budge, reconsider the relationship.
What Experts Say (2025 Update)
- Over 41% of daters aged 20–35 have experienced pocketing. (Dating Trends Report 2024)
- Pocketing is one of the top 5 emotional red flags on dating apps. (Psychology Today)
- Experts suggest setting relationship milestones early to avoid confusion or secret-keeping.
Personal Stories
"We dated for 8 months. I never met a single friend of his. I only realised I was being pocketed when I saw him out — with someone else." – Priya, 28
"He said he 'just wasn’t a social guy.' Turns out he had another relationship going on. I learned to trust my gut." – Melanie, 25
How to Avoid Getting Pocketed
- Talk about relationship expectations early on
- Ask to meet friends or attend events casually
- Notice consistent patterns — are they proud of you publicly or always private?
- Don’t settle for being someone’s secret
Want More Insight?
Read: How to Tell if Your Hookup Is Cheating
Read: Signs of Being Coached While Dating
FAQs
Q: Is pocketing emotional abuse?
A: Not always, but it can become emotionally harmful if prolonged and intentional.
Q: What’s the difference between pocketing and privacy?
A: Privacy is mutual and respectful. Pocketing is one-sided and secretive.
Q: Should I walk away from someone who’s pocketing me?
A: If communication doesn’t resolve it and you feel hidden — yes, it’s valid to leave.
Final Word
If you feel like a secret in your relationship, trust that feeling. You deserve visibility, respect, and someone who’s proud to be with you — not someone who keeps you hidden. Now you know exactly what pocketing means in dating and how to handle it in 2025.