What are the red and green flags in a relationship?

 What are the red and green flags in a relationship?


The red flag meme took over the internet last year and never really lost its steam.

What started as a wholesome way to warn others of the potential no-nos when dating someone new swiftly turned into a viral trend dominated by lighthearted dating preferences and avoidable character traits, used in tandem with an ironic amount of red flag emojis.

Jokes aside, there are some legit red, green, and even *pink* dating flags to look out for that can help avoid toxic relationships and signify a larger pattern of behavior.

From love bombing hard in those early days (aka pulling a Simon Leviev) to sporadic ghosting and gas lighting, some red flags are redder than others but in the honeymoon phase of dating someone new, they can be notoriously easy to miss, and so don’t be too hard on yourself if you were once someone who collected red flags (it’s hard to see a red one when you’re facing it, straight on).

An intuitive signal that has taken over social, from the must-have red flag trading breaker to the pink warning sign that may appear on the radar and the huge green flag that you should open your arms to accept. 

Red Flag

The Red Flag is a clear warning sign that something is wrong and should not be ignored.

1. Combining Consensus Views on Life and Relationship Goals

Partners must have the same life goals in order to be considered in the long run. Having different goals will make one of you unhappy and create a grudge. To avoid disappointment and broken heart, if you agree, you need to establish it early. If you want to settle into a long-term devoted relationship, you need to pay attention to what both want from life: B. Have children. If either of you doesn’t want a child, the relationship will eventually go crazy.

2. Crazy Exes’ Story

They should feel comfortable talking to you about past relationships without bringing malicious or negative topics into new relationships. Crazy stories about your ex and negative attitudes towards past love can show unfinished business and bitterness. They can also be held accountable, perhaps instead of their own actions. Breaking a pattern can be difficult, and denying it or blaming someone else can cause the cycle to repeat.

3. Behavioral Control

References to gas lamps and narcissistic behavior should not be shed under the rug. At the beginning of a relationship, a small, seemingly helpful suggestion about your clothing choices or friendship groups could point to a dominant partner who may manipulate all aspects of your life in the future.

Green Flag 

The green flag is when you feel safe and comfortable in developing relationships with people. There are no warning signs to prevent your feet from getting cold.

1. They check in with you regularly

It is important to find the right balance. You don’t want them to be too distressed, go overboard with the constant communication, and don’t want to ghost intermittently for days. Both scenarios can be annoying and controversial. Your partner also needs to have a level of trust in you they also feel they don’t always need to control you after you need to respect each other’s boundaries. Be completely comfortable with each other.

2. You can be open and honest.

You can be open about your feelings and respect each other. Your partner listens to you, you can be around them and they understand you. The openness of couples leads to greater satisfaction in the relationship, so it is important for long-term relationships to be free to express themselves and be open to each other.

You can also easily talk about your past partners without feeling angry or jealous. You both have a maturity that is a good precursor for your future together.

3. Don’t pay attention outside the relationship

Your new partner feels completely comfortable with their skin and with you. They are not always in the spotlight outside of the relationship. They don’t always need social media approval and they have what they need in a relationship to feel fulfilled.

Pink Flag

Warning signs that budding romance may be a problem or may not be good at taking relationships to the next level.

1. Love Bombing

The term “becoming stronger” has nothing to do with love bombers. Your new love interests will focus on you relentlessly, and her devoted attention will make you feel like a king/queen. “Your new partner showers you with flowers, words of love, endless gifts, and luxury trips-it’s really romantic, but a little too fast?

2. Sporadic Ghosting

All Works fine, then they haven’t contacted me for 5 days, and when you do, they don’t say where they were and continue as usual. They’ve been counting time and their lack of communication. I can’t stand it. You find that this sporadic ghosting is strange and the lack of awareness of their behavior does not suit you.

3. Not big on a PDA

It’s nice to kiss and hold hands once in a while, but it’s not awkward to stare in public. However, a complete lack of PDAs can lead to unwanted feelings and quickly diminish intimacy and connections. The pink warning sign disappears in your head and you wonder: why don’t they like to show affection or get intimate with me in front of others? They ask if they are inside you when it’s embarrassing to be seen with you in public. Or even ask if there is someone else.

The Moral of the story

The beginning of a relationship is full of happy hormones that you want to bond with (and pair with) your new boyfriend. Learning to recognize the signs of a healthy partner helps to disable some of those hormones and look a little more clearly. Watch out for critical, defensive, withdrawal, or derogatory people. 

Ultimately, be kind to your partner (even when upset), take responsibility for our actions (even when difficult), work with us to calm the nervous system, and acknowledge past pain. We are looking for a partner to give it to us. A grudge that they don’t impose on us.


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