Emotional dependence on your partner

 Emotional dependence on your partner

One of the major advantages of partnerships is the provision of emotional support. Your loved ones may provide compassion and comfort while you are under stress or adversity by listening to your problems and validating your feelings. You could go to your spouse first in a romantic relationship if you need this assistance. It's common to want emotional support and direction from partners, especially in committed relationships.

However, emotional dependency goes beyond the point of assistance. The majority of romantic couples rely on one another to some degree. However, you're probably not doing much to address those needs on your own when you depend entirely on your spouse to do so. Your relationship and general well-being may eventually suffer as a result of this complete reliance on another person.

The concept of an emotional dependency spectrum may be useful. On one end is emotional freedom. Completely self-sufficient people could reject all emotional assistance, preferring to manage their emotional demands on their own, or perhaps disregard them totally. The most wholesome kind of connections, interdependent ones, are in the centre. Interdependence is being able to identify and take action to meet many of your own emotional needs. You may turn to your spouse for assistance if you are unable to meet them on your own. In other words, while not all of your emotional requirements, you rely on them for part of them. Emotional reliance is on the opposite end. Here, you frequently find yourself depending on your spouse to take care of almost all demands. They may be the first people you turn to when you're in difficulty rather than attempting to control your emotions on your own.

If you feel as though you would be unable to function without their emotional support, your relationship may have taken a turn toward unhealthy levels of reliance.


There may be some similarities between the two if you are familiar with codependence, but there are also significant differences. When you put other people's needs ahead of your own, you become codependent. If you put your partner's emotional needs above your own, emotional dependency may resemble a kind of codependency.

Signs of emotional dependence in a relationship

Studies and reports, however, indicate that this is bad for a relationship because it has resulted in breakups and cases of people "pushing it too far, too soon." Therefore, every one of us must determine if we are actually in love with our partners or merely relying on them for emotional support.


When it comes to your partner's consideration, these emotions and actions show that you do not desire a shareholder. You can also be taking actions to prevent your spouse from meeting others, which would damage your relationship and cause problems. A small bit of jealousy is a typical characteristic, though, and it shows that you or your spouse are sincerely possessive, loving, and caring for one another.

Reliance on validation

It's wise to respect your partner's opinions and sentiments about you. However, it is cause for concern if you value their approval or opinion over your own in every situation. We must understand that nobody should be trusted more than ourselves, not even our spouses.

The desire to be in charge

This is a very strong indicator that you lack emotional independence.

Relying on your partner to validate your worth

It's reasonable to want your lover to give you simple praises. People who are emotionally reliant on their partner, on the other hand, need constant praise. If they do not receive this, they become really depressed and begin to doubt their abilities. Due to their emotional dependence rather than being in love, this action and feature demonstrate how they "require" this affirmation.

You no longer think that life exists without them

After your companion goes away, you feel as though you will have no meaning in life and won't be able to handle their loss.

Your partner is constantly at your side.

Although it could seem like an "a couple of goals" thing, it's vital to remember that everyone occasionally needs their own space. Never leaving your lover alone might indicate an unhealthy dependence on them.

You experience great insecurity

Sometimes feeling uneasy is completely acceptable. We are all human, and among our anxieties can be losing a loved one, such as your partner. However, emotional reliance is evident if your anxiety and insecurity are constant to the point where you become unnecessarily possessive. Simply put, you feel the want to keep them in this connection with you and worry that everyone else could try to steal them away from you.

Cancelling arrangements to be with others to be with them

Sometimes abandoning others for your lover might be a sign that they are your first priority. However, displaying this conduct repeatedly is a red flag.

Looks count for more

You care more about how your partners come across than you do about coming up with anything new. You want your spouse to stand out from the crowd as the ideal individual and to be well-liked by your family and friends.

Additionally, there may be aspects of him that you do not particularly like, but if others think favourably of them, it is acceptable for you since it appears that you care more about how your partner looks than who he or she is. This is a pretty clear cautionary indicator.

You want to change your partner.

It may be common to want a minor alteration in your mate. However, wishing to entirely change them and being unhappy with who they are in their current state show your emotional dependence, otherwise, why would you remain with them?

How to overcome emotional dependency?

We are unable to claim that getting over emotional dependence is simple. It demonstrates to be extremely resistant to change as a personality disorder or a component of the condition, depending on the source. It is most likely a very enduring component that causes anxiety and disorder in your life. However, there are several approaches to dealing with both the emotional reliance itself and its effects. Here are five techniques to help you begin developing emotional independence and sturdiness.

Consult a professional

To help you on your way to emotional independence, you can think about speaking with a psychotherapist. They will assist you in comprehending the root of the dependency. You'll discover your triggers and learn to manage your responses to them. You may address the root reasons for your insecurity and inability to cope with emotions and situations on your own with the aid of a professional.

Develop your assertiveness skills.

You will benefit from assertiveness training in two ways. First off, it will provide you with useful tools so that you may interact with others confidently and avoid being a victim of abuse. You get more comfortable establishing limits when you are assertive. Submissiveness is the antithesis of assertiveness. Second, you will begin to change your attitude about yourself by thinking about the so-called forceful rights of each individual. You will begin to have more confidence in and respect for yourself.

Improve your emotional quotient

Emotionally dependent people reportedly lack some emotional intelligence skills. Being emotionally intelligent involves being able to identify and control your own emotions as well as others' emotions and establish healthy relationships with them. To become emotionally self-sufficient, you must first have the capacity to endure and regulate your emotional responses.

Use self-care and compassion for yourself.

Unfortunately, when someone is emotionally reliant, they leave themselves vulnerable to many types of abuse. If they meet the wrong person, they could be easily used. You need a lot of self-compassion if you believe that your emotional reliance has caused you to act in a way that you are not proud of. Establish a self-care schedule as well (physically and psychologically). You will take care of yourself this way rather than relying on others to do it for you. Respect your body, respect your intellect, and show them lots of love. Self-care is crucial for your recovery, especially if exposed to abuse.

Work on being more at ease by yourself

It may be quite difficult for emotionally dependent people to be alone, whether single or just spending time alone. But make an effort to eventually master the ability to feel at ease on your own. When used in conjunction with the advice provided above, you will begin to realise that you are capable of handling issues and uneasy emotions even if there is no one around to comfort you.

Finding the fortitude to overcome emotional reliance might be quite difficult, but it is vital to do so. We won't be able to understand how to become mentally strong and heal the wounds of the past until we acknowledge the traumas and previous sufferings that we all tend to carry with us. It won't be feasible to change yourself overnight since emotionally reliant behaviours are acquired over time. It's critical to have tolerance and compassion for yourself as well as your partner, even if you must take action to resolve those problems and maintain your strength.

Speak with a mental health professional who can offer advice on how to accept yourself and deal with problems caused by emotional dependency.

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