‘Suddenly realized' 40-year-old single woman goes it alone for IVF pregnancy
Because
of her concern that she would not have enough time to find the ideal spouse, a
performance coach used solo IVF to conceive her kid. After failing to locate a suitable
partner to conceive a child with on the usual dating services she was using,
Stacy Thomson gave birth to Milo, now one, by herself in 2021.
The
43-year-old St Albans, Hertfordshire, resident has just released a dating app
for those looking to create a family. She also hopes that her Reddit dating app
would help her locate Mr. Right.
Stacy,
a mental health counsellor, said: "It was challenging to sift through the
men who didn't share the same life goals as me on online dating platforms.
Everyone seemed to just want something casual. I performed a fertility test in
July 2020, and the results were not great, which scared me. I was aware that
time was running out and that I had no other choices.
I
ultimately chose to start a family on my own, a choice I don't regret making,
but it wasn't how I had envisioned doing it. I've recently released a new
software specifically for those looking to start or grow their families because
of this.
Finding
a partner who desired children was crucial for Stacy. I've always wanted
children, but I always thought I'd have a stable relationship first, she added.
Only as I grew older did I realise it might not come to pass.
The
main issue, she continued, is that if you mention that you desire children on
your dating profile until you're in your late 30s, a lot of guys will be turned
off. Unfortunately, most apps do not allow you to exclude users who do not want
children or whose intentions regarding when to have a family are vague.
And
Stacy freely admits that she got weary of looking for "the one."
"I just grew tired of online dating," she claimed. I abruptly
realised I was single at 40 after my last relationship, which lasted one year,
came to an end.
After
taking a fertility test and having the results be quite negative, I realised I
needed to act quickly if I wanted to become a mother. I've always been the type
of guy who, after making a choice, moves quickly to implement it.
I
underwent a fertility test in July 2020, and my eggs were extracted in
September. "My first round of IVF was a success, I was incredibly
lucky," she continued.
While
Stacy was happy to learn she was pregnant, she acknowledges that going it alone
during the IVF process was challenging. It was a pretty isolating experience,
she remarked. This is not how I imagined having kids.
I
remember sitting on the bed while I was given an epidural in the hospital while
waiting to be sent down for my c-section and I was sobbing, she continued. I
believe I was lamenting the life I had envisioned for myself.
After
the birth of Baby Milo in August 2021, Stacy launched a new dating service for
those looking to start families. Being a single mother has been difficult and
amazing, she added.
I'm
so happy I made that choice, but there are others out there who might not be
able to afford or want to have a child alone, and for them, missing out when
they can't find a compatible partnership. This gave rise to the concept of
Reddit, a novel dating service where users have similar beliefs and aspirations
in life.
The
app was released in July of this year and is only accessible to members.
According to Stacy, there are currently 200 persons on the waiting list. Each
profile is reviewed by a human before being approved for the site, the speaker
stated. This is done in order to ensure that everyone using the platform is
sincere and there for the right reasons.
We
use social media profiles as part of the screening process, but for us, it's
not about status, who you know, or what you do. It's more important to know if
a potential mate is a well-rounded, nice human being who cares about other
people and is sincere about finding a relationship.
Priority
will be given during the application process to people who have been referred
by other community members. Selected individuals will also have access to
"Golden Tickets" that will allow their referred friends to move up
the waiting list. If you are accepted, you will have a variety of membership
packages to choose from, with the first price point being £36 for three months.
The
app is only the beginning, added Stacy. We have huge aspirations for the
future, providing our members with both online and offline experiences.
Entering
a relationship only to discover that you don't have the same vision as your
potential spouse is the worst thing for someone who wishes to have a family,
even if only in the longer term, she continued. This can and has resulted in
many squandered years, not to mention the lifetime-long grief and unfulfilled
potential.
And
Stacy is well aware of the drawbacks of internet dating. "I know firsthand
that navigating the world of internet dating is not an easy chore," she
remarked.
The
countless possibilities have unavoidably caused many people to feel overly
weary of dating, something I have experienced as well. Since the pandemic, many
daters have less appetite for hookups and casual dates. Instead, they are more
eager to date with a purpose, which is what Reddi hopes to support.
Stacy
now believes that her app will assist her in finding love. I'm still single,
but I'm on the app, and I'm absolutely still hoping for love, she admitted. I
currently have a lot on my plate between caring for Milo and running my
business, but I'm looking forward to what the future may bring. Who knows,
maybe Reddi will help me find someone for myself.