What Is Post‑Infidelity Stress Disorder?

Infidelity isn’t just a breach of trust—it can shatter a person’s emotional stability. Post‑Infidelity Stress Disorder (PISD), though not officially recognised in psychiatric manuals, describes the trauma that often follows the discovery of a partner’s affair. The emotional pain, intrusive thoughts, and loss of self-worth can mimic the symptoms of PTSD.

This article delves into what PISD is, the signs to watch for, and how to heal effectively, whether you’re the betrayed partner or someone supporting one.

Understanding Post-Infidelity Stress Disorder (PISD)

The term was first introduced by Dr. Dennis Ortman, who observed PTSD-like symptoms in clients after discovering their partners' infidelity. While not formally classified in the DSM, many psychologists use PISD to describe emotional trauma stemming from betrayal. Symptoms can persist for months or years if not properly addressed.

Signs and Symptoms of PISD

People experiencing PISD often deal with emotional, psychological, and even physical symptoms. These may include:

• Intrusive thoughts: Constantly replaying the betrayal or checking your partner's behaviour compulsively.
• Emotional numbing: Feeling disconnected from your own feelings, relationships, or daily life.
• Hypervigilance: Always feeling on edge, suspicious, or anxious.
• Nightmares or flashbacks: Recurrent dreams or sudden panic episodes triggered by small reminders.
• Low self-esteem: Feeling "not good enough" or internalising blame.
• Social withdrawal: Avoiding friends, family, or professional spaces due to shame or distress.

These symptoms can seriously impact your mental and physical health. If they persist, professional intervention may be necessary.

Why Infidelity Can Be Traumatic

Infidelity is not just about the act of cheating—it’s about broken trust, deceit, and emotional abandonment. For many, it shakes their worldview and identity. In committed relationships, people rely on emotional safety and loyalty. When that collapses, it causes deep emotional injury that can mimic trauma responses.

Women may experience this differently than men due to differences in emotional processing and social conditioning. Learn more about how women cope with mental health issues after emotional upheaval.

Is PISD a Real Diagnosis?

Though not listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, PISD is often treated similarly to trauma-related conditions. Many therapists find it helpful to name and validate these experiences as real and significant.

This acknowledgement can aid recovery, especially when therapy centres around trauma-informed care and attachment theory.

How PISD Affects Relationships

Even when couples try to reconcile, untreated PISD can cause repeated emotional flashbacks, lack of trust, resentment, and breakdowns in communication. If not addressed, it may lead to:

• Emotional detachment
• Repeated arguments
• Withdrawal or infidelity in return
• Breakups or divorce

However, many couples have also used therapy and healing practices to rebuild their connection, trust, and shared values after such events.

Treatment Options

Several treatment modalities have shown promise in treating PISD:

• Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT): Helps restructure negative thought loops and reframe blame.
• Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR): Used for trauma processing.
• Talk Therapy: Offers a safe space for grief, anger, and confusion.
• Couples Counselling: Focuses on rebuilding trust and communication.
• Medication: Antidepressants or anxiolytics may support short-term stability.

Self-Care Strategies to Aid Recovery

• Establish a routine: Structure helps stabilise your emotions and thoughts.
• Exercise: Physical movement reduces cortisol and improves mood.
• Journaling: Writing thoughts helps release bottled-up emotions.
• Support groups: Connecting with others who've experienced infidelity can offer comfort and perspective.
• Limit contact with the betraying partner (if needed): Especially in the early stages of healing.

Can the Relationship Be Saved?

Yes, but only if both partners commit to transparency, empathy, and healing. Rebuilding after infidelity involves:

• Honest communication: Answering difficult questions and clarifying intentions.
• Setting boundaries: Agreed-upon rules for contact, behaviour, and healing timelines.
• Forgiveness (when ready): Letting go of resentment without excusing the act.

Sometimes, moving on separately is the healthiest choice—and that’s valid too.

Frequently Asked Questions

How long does PISD last?

Everyone heals at their own pace. With support, many feel better within 3–6 months, but deeper healing may take longer.

Can you develop PISD even if you weren't married?

Absolutely. Emotional investment, not legal status, determines the impact of betrayal.

Should I confront the cheating partner?

If you feel safe and emotionally ready, confrontation may offer closure. But seek guidance from a therapist beforehand.

Can therapy really help?

Yes. Many have found therapy critical in rebuilding self-esteem, understanding the trauma, and making decisions about the future.

Is it weak to still love them?

Not at all. Love doesn’t disappear overnight. Healing is complex and doesn’t follow a straight line.

Where to Go from Here

If you suspect you're experiencing PISD, reach out for help. Whether through therapy, support groups, or trusted loved ones, you don’t have to go through this alone.

Explore more on Ichhori’s sitemap for resources about emotional trauma, mental wellness, and relationships.