How to Let Go of the Need to Be Liked: What Every Gen Z Should Know in 2026
Freedom from people-pleasing starts with understanding why so many Gen Zers feel the compulsive need to be liked—and what it really costs. You can stop shaping yourself for the crowd. Here’s how.
Why Gen Z Is So Caught Up in Being Liked
Raised in an era of social media validation, Gen Z has been conditioned to seek approval through metrics—likes, shares, comments. This constant feedback loop creates an inner pressure to perform, to be “pleasant,” to avoid conflict at all costs. What many don’t realise is that this isn’t just a bad habit—it’s a nervous system response known as the fawn trauma response.
Fawning is the fourth trauma response, alongside fight, flight, and freeze. It’s where individuals appease others to feel safe, especially in unpredictable or emotionally unsafe environments. It’s a strategy developed in childhood but carried into adulthood, especially when left unexamined ([businessinsider.com](https://www.businessinsider.com/gen-z-people-pleasing-generation-explained-2025-7?utm_source=chatgpt.com)).
The Hidden Toll of People-Pleasing
On the surface, being liked seems harmless—even admirable. But over time, it comes with serious emotional consequences:
- Exhaustion from constantly performing or masking your true self
- Resentment from overextending and saying “yes” when you meant “no”
- Suppressed anger, anxiety, and even depression
- Loss of identity—you’re not sure who you are when no one’s around
Psychologists warn that people-pleasing creates fractured boundaries and leaves you vulnerable to manipulation. You become easy to guilt-trip, hard to trust your own voice, and terrified of making waves ([psychcentral.com](https://psychcentral.com/health/the-need-to-please-the-psychology-of-people-pleasing?utm_source=chatgpt.com)).
Signs You’re Stuck in Approval Addiction
If you’re unsure whether this is you, ask yourself:
- Do I feel guilty for saying no—even when I’m overwhelmed?
- Do I avoid conflict, even when it compromises my needs?
- Do I struggle to express disagreement, out of fear they’ll dislike me?
- Do I change my tone, personality or preferences depending on who I’m with?
If you said “yes” more than once, you’re not alone—but you do deserve better boundaries.
Rewiring Your Brain: How to Stop Needing to Be Liked
Getting out of this cycle isn’t about becoming rude or cold. It’s about becoming authentic. Here's how Gen Z can start:
1. Learn to Tolerate Discomfort
Saying no, disappointing someone, or simply not being everyone’s favourite person feels uncomfortable—but it’s not dangerous. The discomfort passes. The world doesn’t end. Start by tolerating small moments of social friction. They build resilience.
2. Build Boundary Scripts
Use simple scripts like:
- “That doesn’t work for me right now.”
- “I appreciate the offer, but I’ll pass.”
- “I’m prioritising my mental health, so I’ll sit this one out.”
The more you practise these, the easier they become—and the more others learn to respect you.
3. Dismantle the “Nice = Loved” Lie
Many of us were raised to believe that being liked means being agreeable. But relationships based on appeasement aren’t real intimacy. True connection thrives on honesty, not just harmony.
4. Reclaim Internal Validation
Journal daily or track when you made a choice based on your own values rather than others’ expectations. Celebrate that. Over time, your confidence stops depending on their applause.
5. Find People Who Respect Boundaries
Approval addiction often comes from unsafe social dynamics. Surround yourself with people who honour “no,” value honesty, and support growth over performance. Start with one safe relationship and expand outward.
Real-World Examples of Letting Go
Studies show that boundary-setting leads to reduced anxiety and greater self-esteem. In one study, participants who actively practiced saying “no” over a week reported an increase in self-respect and mental clarity by over 40% ([verywellmind.com](https://www.verywellmind.com/i-tried-saying-no-to-everything-8752484?utm_source=chatgpt.com)).
Gen Z creators are increasingly speaking out against hustle culture and toxic positivity. TikTokers like @alyssacreates and @therapyjeff promote boundaries, real emotional range, and saying no without guilt. The tide is turning—and you can ride that wave, too.
Freedom Comes with Boundaries
Letting go of the need to be liked isn’t easy—but it is liberating. You begin to speak with more clarity, move through life with less anxiety, and build relationships that are rooted in mutual respect, not performance.
And here’s the twist: when you stop trying to be liked, the right people like you more—for who you actually are.
More Resources to Explore
Conclusion: You Don’t Need to Be Liked by Everyone to Be Enough
As a Gen Z adult in 2026, the sooner you unhook from the belief that you must please others to be safe, the freer and more powerful you’ll become. Your worth isn’t tied to likability—it’s anchored in who you are, not how you’re received.
Let this year be the one where you finally drop the performance and choose your truth. Say no more. People-please less. Be real. That’s where your peace begins.
Related: Self-Worth vs. Self-Esteem: Understanding the Difference