How to Network Without Feeling Fake
Great networking isn’t small talk and self-promotion—it’s curiosity + value + consistency. Think less “collect contacts” and more “build relationships you’d vouch for.” Here’s a no-ick playbook to connect with people authentically.
Mindset: From Transaction to Relationship
- Give-first: Share a resource, intro, or thoughtful note before asking for anything.
- Be specific: Clear questions are respectful of time.
- Play long game: Relationships compound—follow up even when you don’t need anything.
Your 3-Part Outreach Formula
- Context: How you found them (post, talk, shared contact).
- Signal: 1–2 lines showing you actually read/watched their work.
- Ask: A narrow request (15-min Zoom, 2 questions, feedback on one slide).
Copy-Paste DM / Email Templates
Subject: Appreciated your insight on [topic]
“Hi [Name]—I loved your point about [specific] in [where]. I’m exploring [field] and had two questions about [X]. If you have 15 minutes next week, I’d be grateful; otherwise, even a quick pointer helps. Either way, thanks for sharing your work.”
Warm intro offer: “If helpful, I can connect you to [person/team] working on [related thing].”
What to Ask in a 15-Min Call
- “What problems does your team obsess over?”
- “What makes someone great in this role beyond the job description?”
- “What’s a small project that proves fit?”
Follow-Up That Feels Natural
- 24 hours: “Thanks + one takeaway + next step I’m trying.”
- 2–4 weeks: Update with results; share a resource they might like.
- Quarterly: Brief hello and one useful link or win.
Where to Meet People (Low-Awkward)
- Comment thoughtfully on posts (add one insight, not just praise).
- Attend small meetups/webinars; ask one good question live.
- Volunteer for events or open-source/community tasks.
Boundaries & Anti-Ick Rules
- Skip mass DMs; personalize or don’t send.
- Don’t ask for a job; ask how hiring works and how to prove fit.
- Respect “no” and non-replies—follow up once, then move on.
Final Thoughts
Networking doesn’t require a different personality; it requires different habits. Be curious, be useful, be consistent—and let trust build slowly.
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