Don’t Dim Your Light Because They’re Squinting
In some rooms, your competence makes people blink. That’s not a cue to shrink; it’s a cue to stabilise your shine—visible, credible, repeatable. You don’t need to be louder to be seen; you need to be designed to be undeniable.
Make Your Value Legible
- Outcomes over adjectives: “Cut incident time by 38% in Q2” beats “I’m a problem solver.”
- CAR stories: Context–Action–Result for reviews, interviews, and intros.
- Receipts file: keep a living doc of wins, numbers, testimonials.
Meeting Mechanics (Own the Room Without Shouting)
- Pre-wire: share a one-pager with decision, options, and your recommendation 24 hours before.
- First minute: “We’re deciding X. Choices are A/B. I recommend A because 1/2/3.”
- Interruptions: “I’ll finish, then I’m keen to hear your view.” (repeat calmly)
- Idea theft: “Thanks for building on my proposal—yes, the testing plan I shared covers that.”
Scripts That Protect Space
- “Let’s capture next steps before we switch topics.”
- “We’re mixing prioritisation with status—can we separate them?”
- “That’s interesting; for this quarter our acceptance criteria are X/Y. Which do we drop?”
Ally Architecture
- Spotters: one colleague to pass the mic back when you’re interrupted.
- Amplifiers: “As Name said, the data shows…” (practice this for each other).
- Sponsor vs mentor: mentors advise; sponsors advocate in rooms you aren’t in. Ask: “Where could my work travel if you named it?”
Performance Without Perfection
- Decision rule: ship v1 at 80% for learning tasks; perfect after live feedback.
- Risk posture: choose reversible bets; narrate what you’ll monitor and how to roll back.
- Visibility cadence: monthly “what we shipped/learned” notes to stakeholders.
Handling Bias Patterns (Calm and Clear)
- Bro-splaining: “I’m hearing a restate of my point; I’ll add the metric we’ll track.”
- Question ping-pong: redirect technical questions back to you if someone re-routes them.
- Credit leakage: “To be precise, Aisha ran the analysis; I led the rollout.”
Safety & Sanity
- Document decisions, agreements, and changes of scope in writing.
- Use calendars for protected deep-work blocks; set “focus” status.
- If retaliation appears, escalate with receipts; widen the room: HR, skip-level, sponsor.
Caselets
- The engineer: pre-wired decisions; interruptions dropped as her one-pagers became default.
- The PM: introduced acceptance criteria; scope creep shrank, praise got specific.
- The analyst: monthly “shipped” memo created pull—people asked for her on hard projects.
90-Day Visibility Plan
- Weeks 1–2: create your receipts file; draft three CAR stories.
- Weeks 3–6: run two pre-wired decisions; send your first “shipped/learned” memo.
- Weeks 7–10: identify a sponsor; ask for one high-stakes room to present in.
- Weeks 11–12: measure impact: projects pulled to you, decision speed, reduced rework.
Final Thoughts
Your light isn’t the problem; the room’s pupils are. Lead with receipts, design your visibility, and recruit allies. Shine in ways that create clarity, not conflict—and keep your future self proud.
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