You’re Not Lost—You’re Just Between Versions: Normalise Identity Shifts
Have you ever woken up feeling unmoored—no longer who you were, yet not fully who you're becoming? That's not being lost. It’s a sign you’re transitioning. Identity shifts are natural, even essential, stages of growth—and yes, not knowing exactly who you are right now can be a powerful space of becoming.
1. Identity Shifts Happen—and They’re Normal
As Gemma Brown puts it, those unexpected questions—“Who am I now?”—often emerge from big changes. Titles, labels, and roles we once leaned on start to feel too small or outdated. What we see is not disintegration—it’s rediscovery.
2. Shifting Identities is Part of Being Human
According to the developmental theory of emerging adulthood, the late teens through late twenties are a time of exploration, instability, and identity experimentation. Feeling in-between identities isn't a breakdown—it’s a developmental rite of passage.
3. Sometimes Growth Needs a Breakdown
Kazimierz Dąbrowski’s theory of positive disintegration suggests that crises and confusion—while uncomfortable—are often necessary to rebuild a more authentic and autonomous sense of self. In that tension, your higher version is taking shape.
4. Small Experiments Help You Become You
Identity shifting isn’t just reactive—it’s proactive. As one guide to personal transformation advises: “change who you think you are.” By aligning your actions—how you speak, create, or behave—with the person you want to become, you're not pretending—you’re becoming.
5. You’re Not Losing Yourself—You’re Expanding Yourself
Jung’s idea of individuation reminds us that personal identity isn’t static. You’re not meant to stay rooted in one fixed version—you’re growing, exploring, and integrating ever more of yourself.
The concept of a “crystallized self” also encourages us to hold many versions of ourselves simultaneously—friend, sibling, creator—responsive to context, and evolving over time.
Quick Comparison: Lost vs. In-Between
| Feeling | What It Might Mean | New Frame |
|---|---|---|
| Confusion | Identity feels undefined | You’re between versions—now’s the becoming |
| Anxiety or pressure | Wanting an answer, and feeling none | Let the questions guide your emergence |
| Not fitting old roles | The old labels don't resonate anymore | You’re shedding what no longer serves growth |
6. Gentle Steps to Navigate Identity Shifts
- Journal with curiosity: Ask gently, “Who do I feel pulled to become?”
- Try on new versions: Act as if—show up as that person, even for small moments.
- Build community: Share your journey with others who are in-between too. Connection anchors identity transitions.
- Be kind to yourself: Between selves isn’t broken—it’s becoming. Give yourself space to evolve.
Conclusion
Between identities, you might feel untethered. Good. You’re shedding, expanding, exploring. This in-between space isn’t lost—it’s fertile. Let this version of you stay curious, compassionate, and in the process. You’re not lost. You’re becoming.