My Boyfriend is on Tinder, How to deal with it?

If you ever find your Boyfriend on Tinder, you will undoubtedly experience two emotions: anger and disappointment. The extent of both will be entirely directly proportional to the length of time you've been dating. And girls, if you don’t know what Tinder is, what are you doing! But, as always, we've got your back.

Tinder, founded in 2012, is a dating app service that virtually matches singles in your area and around the world. Tinder's software works in a simple manner: you swipe right to show who you are particularly interested in and you swipe left if you don’t like a particular profile. Anyone may sign up for free, but Tinder does have some premium features that require a subscription. While Tinder is primarily a dating app, it is often described as the "hookup app." Till June 2015, 62% of Tinder's users across the globe were men, while 38% were women. For using Tinder, you must first build a profile in which you describe your location, gender, age, range, and sexual interests. Then you start swiping. And it's a match if both partners have swiped right on each other. Only if you are a match then you can start chatting with each other. More than 100 million people have downloaded tinder in India. In India, men outnumber women on online dating services by about three to one. According to a poll of 20,000 urban Indians conducted by indigenous dating service Woo, the gender disparity on these apps is huge, with only 26% of their users being female.

Finding your boyfriend on tinder might not be impossible. There are always chances of you being cheated on. GlobalWebIndex (GWI) conducted a research in the year 2015 which held a survey of more than 47,000 internet users around the world that suggest the app has a wider demographic. According to the research, 30% of Tinder users are married, while another 12% are in a relationship. There are several articles on the internet that help women to find out whether their partners are on tinder and cheating on them or the guy you just met on tinder is already married or not. If you see the signs of cheating, don’t dismiss your instincts by thinking you are being too possessive or insecure. Trust your guts. If someone else tells you that they found your man on tinder, ask for screenshots, don’t blindly trust them and start blaming your partner. But don’t blindly trust your boyfriend as well. See the proof and react accordingly.

This will be difficult if you've been dating your partner for a long time and you're both really invested in each other. One reason men cheat is that they want out of a relationship but aren't man enough to just split up, so they cheat to have an excuse to get out. Another reason guys cheat is that some guys only need easy sex. They wait since the female isn't prepared to offer them sex right away. They wait for a long time, making promises of eternal love until they finally receive what they desire. Then they stay a little longer and say, "Hey!" So I met this other girl (with whom I had sex without your knowledge) and I just can not see things working out between us. Some cheat because they are unable to resist the urge. Some don’t wanna commit and claim themselves to be a free bird. Some are mentally unstable and sick. So, most men that cheat are plain assholes. But providing it a reason doesn't end up making it any less painful.

You get a call one day from a friend who claims she saw your boyfriend on Tinder, or you play detective and create a false profile just to catch your partner on the app, or you casually browse through his phone and discover the app he's actively using to bag other women. You'll be overwhelmed with rage. You will be disappointed and hurt. You'll feel dumb for showering this guy with love and trust. But that is precisely where you should relax.

• Take a few deep breaths or cry a little.

We realize how difficult it is to accept that your lover was cheating on you. There is never a good excuse to cheat on your partner. Always be thankful that you eventually found out and that this guy will no longer be able to take advantage of you. Calm yourself down.

• Gather your courage and meet up with him.

Don't just block him from everywhere in the hopes that you'll be able to move on. It is never useful. Get some closure. That will help you process what has just happened to you. You'll go back to him if you merely block him without facing him or without an explanation. After a few months, your mind will tell you that it was a one-time occurrence, and all of your warm memories will fog your mind. The closure will help you move on; he will try to make dumb reasons, which will remind you of why you should never get back together with this guy, even though you have spent many wonderful years together.

• Do not forgive him.

Don't believe his excuses. Don't be taken in by his pleasant words, puppy eyes, or crocodile tears. Remember, he is not a child, and whatever he did was entirely his choice. Nobody made him do it. Even if he attempts to tell you that his pals forced him to do it, confront him and ask why he didn't tell you. Inquire as to why he was actively using the app if he is so clean. If you forgive him once, he will do it again. You can repair broken glass, but you can never repair the scratch.

• Move on.

It will be difficult, but not impossible. Continue at your own pace. Move on because it's best for you. Don't fake it only to show your ex that you're better off without him; instead, move on because you shouldn't be stuck with someone who was so awful for you.

• Make yourself a priority.

We understand that moving on is difficult. We can just give you some advice; putting it into action is completely another affair. But we can tell you what will make things a little simpler. It will be easier if you love yourself. It will be easier if you prioritize yourself. It will be easier if you focus on self growth.

• Finally, learn from your mistakes.

Allow yourself time to trust the next person, but don't let your previous poor experiences cause you to punish the next guy you date. Remember that every person is unique. You may need more time to trust this new person, but don't become overly possessive and insecure over something he never did and something an ungrateful, unfaithful, and spineless guy did to you.

And if you've only recently begun dating a guy. After a few dates, you're gradually turning into something more meaningful and serious. And you found him on Tinder, despite the fact that he claimed to have deleted it. Block him, move on, and find another guy. That’s the easiest thing to find anyway. LOL! 

References - 

1. https://qz.com/india/1484691/woo-tinder-trulymadly-have-a-massive-gender-problem-in-india/

2. https://tinder.com/

3. https://www.globalwebindex.com/