What’s there to be Proud about being a Same Sex Lover?

“Love has no gender - compassion has no religion - character has no race.”

― Abhijit Naskar, Either Civilized or Phobic: A Treatise on Homosexuality.

According to Wikipedia, Homosexuality can be described as romantic, sexual attraction, or sexual behaviour between two members of the same sex or gender. Also as a part of one’s sexual orientation, Homosexuality can be described as an ‘enduring pattern of romantic, emotional and sexual attractions to people of the same sex/gender.’ 

Even though homosexuality is all about love just like heterosexuality with the only difference being that the love here is directed towards the same gender unlike heterosexuality where it is directed towards the opposite gender. But it can be seen that it really becomes difficult and highly impossible for people to understand and accept this kind of love just because it for the person of the same sex/gender.

What’s there to be proud about being a same sex lover?

Well, there are plenty of reasons for you to be proud of being a same sex lover because always remember, “You did not decide to be a homosexual but you were born a homosexual”. And yes, being a same sex lover is not easy, because you don’t get a very welcoming society who accepts you for who you are, instead it criticizes you and also makes you self loathe for accepting your sexual identity/orientation. But don’t give up hopes, times are changing and we shall overcome this too. 

Like recently countries like Germany, Australia and Malta have voted in favour of same – sex marriages and the U.S also has a very welcoming response to the concept of same – sex marriage. Even Northern Ireland is calling a petition against the ban of gay marriages thus welcoming same sex marriages and relationships. And these actions show that in many parts of the world, what was once considered abnormal and aberrant in terms of LGBTQ (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender) visibility and integration is now being considered ‘NORMAL’.

First things first, what matters the most is your love for him/her, because if you take out the gender norms from the concept of love then what remains is nothing but your affection for the person. And loving someone is not a crime, it has never been, it never should be. Be proud of the love and affection that you have for the person, irrespective of your and their gender, and also this is what should keeping you going and not refrain you from being a proud same sex lover.

Secondly be proud of your sexual orientation. You have not committed a crime as a person who loves someone of the same sex/gender. Living as a homosexual in a society which thinks that being a homosexual (Gay, Lesbian) is a crime is difficult and thus it becomes highly important for the homosexual individual (you) to first accept your sexual identity/orientation as a same sex lover and then only can you can gain the courage of fighting against others and prove your love to the world that it is as beautiful and innocent as it is between a heterosexual couple. 

But accepting your sexual orientation, isn’t easy because of the societal pressure that they (you) have to face and the fear of whether their (your) parents will accept them (you) or not, their (your) friends will accept them (you) or not, so on and so forth. And I would like to explain this situation more by giving you all an example from a Thai BL (Boy Love) drama, “The Dark Blue Kiss”, where one of the main leads Kao is afraid to accept his sexual identity in front of his friends and parents because of the fear of rejection, disgust and unacceptance that may come from them. Which lands him into trouble although you can see that at a point of time, it really gets difficult for him to make everyone believe that he wouldn’t do anything wrong to or hit on another guy because he already has boyfriend and this incident almost makes all his life’s hard work go to drain but he was lucky enough to proven innocent at the end. 

But why am I telling you all this? It is because that I want anyone who is reading this article and if they belong to the LBTQ community then they should be strong enough to accept their sexual identity and be proud of who they are and never feel bad for being or having a same sex lover because no matter what they still know the art of loving someone dearly. 

And when you are confident enough to come out clean in front of everyone about your sexual identity/orientation, you should also help others so that they can feel a sense of companionship and can come out and be brave enough to face and accept who they are.

And did you know…. What the CEO of Apple has to say on this?

Well, you all might be shocked to know this, because not a lot of people know about this fact that Tim Cook is a gay and he is proud of his sexual identity because according to him being a person who belong to a minority group gave him a chance to work more hard, be more empathetic and many more and he has rightly explained this in an interview which you can find on Bloomberg. 

So let’s have a look at his exact comment on being a minority.

“Being gay has given me a deeper understanding of what it means to be in the minority and provided a window into the challenges that people in other minority groups deal with every day. It’s made me more empathetic, which has led to a richer life. It’s been tough and uncomfortable at times, but it has given me the confidence to be myself, to follow my own path, and to rise above adversity and bigotry. It’s also given me the skin of a rhinoceros, which comes in handy when you’re the CEO of Apple.” (Tim Cook, Bloomberg)

And he considers himself as an activist and doesn’t mind giving up his privacy if that helps someone feel confident about his/her sexual orientation and come out as homosexuals then he is happy to help. But he also says that coming out clean about his sexual orientation wasn’t easy but he still decided to do that anyways as he is much more than person who is not defined by his choice of love and sexuality. He is a human, he is an engineer, a good boss and much more to stop himself from growing just because he is a gay belonging to the LBTQ community and prefers to have a romantic relationship with someone of the same sex/gender than the opposite.

So, my dear readers don’t think that you are any less from the others just because you are a bit different from everyone out there. It is okay to be different, so be proud of yourself for what you are and whatever your sexual orientation is. Be proud of it and never be ashamed of being a same sex lover or having a same sex lover because you aren’t doing crime by loving someone who is belongs to the same gender as you. So ‘Be Proud, Be Happy’. 

Ref: Tim Cook: 'I'm Proud to Be Gay' - Bloomberg

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