Dating still unfairly targets women’s behaviour. Here’s why that bias exists, how it affects modern relationships, and what needs to change.
Is still a thing in 2025 shouldn’t surprise anyone—but it should make you think.
From swiping apps to real-life dates, women are still being judged more harshly for how they dress, speak, text, and behave. Meanwhile, men get praised for showing up. Why is the standard so unbalanced?
This article breaks down the psychology, cultural legacy, and double standards that continue to shape modern dating—and how to shift the focus from scrutiny to equality.
Dating still expects women to perform
In most hetero dating dynamics, women are expected to:
- Text the “right” amount—too much is clingy, too little is cold
- Look attractive, but not “try too hard”
- Be independent, but not intimidating
- Show emotion, but not be “too much”
Men, on the other hand, often aren’t held to the same emotional or appearance-based standards.
Why is this happening?
This isn’t new. It’s cultural programming—and dating is where these gender scripts play out most aggressively.
- Media framing: Romantic comedies still push tropes like the “cool girl,” the “clingy girlfriend,” or the “emotional fixer.”
- Socialisation: Girls are taught to “please,” boys are taught to “pursue.” That leaves women hyper-aware of how they’re perceived.
- Dating apps: Algorithms reward photos over substance, and women are judged first on looks, second on effort.
Double standards that still exist in dating
- A man is “mysterious” for replying late. A woman is “playing games.”
- A man has many partners—“experience.” A woman does? “Red flag.”
- A man asks direct questions—“confident.” A woman does? “Too forward.”
This subtle judgement affects how women present themselves in dating—and how emotionally safe they feel.
What the research says
- 71% of women feel they’re judged more harshly than men in dating apps (Pew Research, 2023)
- 61% of Gen Z women say they edit their personality to seem “low-maintenance” (Cosmopolitan Survey, 2024)
- Men are 3x more likely to ghost than women, yet women are more often blamed for emotional instability (Hinge Study)
This emotional labour is invisible—but exhausting. It shows up in how women talk, type, show interest, or even walk on a first date.
Why this matters in real life
- Women overthink simple things: “Did I text too soon?” “Should I have waited?”
- Men under-communicate: And are rarely called out for emotional unavailability.
- Women apologise more: Even when they haven’t done anything wrong.
The result? Lopsided emotional effort—and one-sided relationships.
How to stop the cycle
If you’re dating in 2025, here’s how to flip the script:
- Stop expecting women to be “easy to date” and start expecting mutual respect
- Ask men to do the emotional work too—initiate convos, reflect, apologise when wrong
- Call out casual sexism in dating convos—both online and IRL
Want more gender-aware dating advice?
What women actually want from modern dating
- Emotional honesty, not strategy
- Equal effort, not excessive charm
- Consistency, not intensity
Women don’t want men to be perfect. They want them to show up without expecting praise for basic decency.
FAQs
Q: Are women really judged more than men?
Yes. From first impressions to break-ups, social norms still put more pressure on women to “get it right.”
Q: What’s the impact of this bias?
It leads to emotional burnout, self-silencing, and dating anxiety—especially for younger women navigating new relationships.
Q: Can men help fix this?
Absolutely. Start by listening, unlearning, and sharing the emotional load.
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It’s 2025, and we’re still asking why dating focused on women behavior more than men’s. But if we want dating to feel equal, fun, and empowering—we need to stop asking women to shrink and start asking men to grow.