Is It True That Vibrators Reduce Sensitivity?
Sex
and the City are responsible for two things: mainstream normalisation and,
sadly, the spread of several terrifying-sounding misconceptions. "I fear I
broke my vagina...with the rabbit [vibrator]," Charlotte confides to
deep-thinking Carrie in a now-famous 1998 episode of the HBO show. I'm afraid
that if I continue to use it, I'll never be able to have sex with a man
again."
Well,
Char, it's myth-busting time, and it bears repeating over 15 years later: You
don't have to worry about becoming completely reliant on a sex toy to get you
over the finish line, and no amount of toy time or vigorous solo sessions will
desensitise your bits—at least not for long.
The masturbation myth
The
misconception is terrifying: relying too heavily on vibrators or other devices
will cause you to lose sensitivity and develop a tolerance. You'll soon be
destroying a series of increasingly powerful vibrators in your frenzied search
for the next big O. You can't get anything done on your own, much less with a
partner, in this situation. That's frightening even on a purely financial
level—vibrators aren't cheap. That's terrifying on a personal and romantic
level. It's not a life-threatening issue, thankfully.
According
to Matt Lachman, a professional sex therapist and owner of Cleveland Sex
Therapy, this is a very typical problem. People with vaginal vibrators worry
about losing sensitivity, growing numb, or even becoming "addicted"
to their gadgets, he said, but such anxieties have faded in recent years as
open sexuality conversation has grown more mainstream.
Jenni
Skyler, a PhD and Adam and Eve's resident sex therapist, concurred, telling
Lifehacker, "I'm not sure how popular that is now, with the internet
exposing that notion." Still, there are plenty of folks searching for a "dead
vagina," so let's get started. I'm referring to the debate.
Alexandra
Fine, CEO and co-founder of Dame, sympathises with worrywarts and wants to
educate them. She says a common question at Dame is, "Am I going to become
hooked to my vibrator?" The answer is no from a scientific standpoint
because it does not meet the definition of addiction. However, if a large
number of individuals ask the same question, it's critical that we respond
appropriately.
Can you use a vibrator too much?
The
idea that too much vibration or stimulation might numb your privates has a
grain of truth to it—but it's only temporary.
Basically,
the truth is that, at the time, overstimulation might desensitise your nerve
endings, Skyler stated. So, if you use a very powerful stimulation—say, a very powerful
vibrator—your nerve endings go into overload mode." That can happen, but
they usually reset themselves after a few minutes. It's a misconception that
your nerve endings will be ground into nothingness and vanish forever.
Overuse
can cause numbness, especially if you use a high setting on your toy or use it
frequently, according to Lachman, who compares the numbness to the momentary
sensation of a body part falling asleep. He told us, "It'll be back in 10
minutes or something."
"When
you have coupled sex or masturbate without a vibrator, it may be slightly
challenging to achieve that orgasm," Lachman cautioned.
This
brief loss of sensitivity can also impact penises, especially if they're
clutching their dicks tightly with their hand for self-pleasing reasons. (Don't
forget the lubricant.)
How to recover sensitivity?
Aside
from using lubrication to reduce friction, you have a few methods for avoiding
or recovering from temporary numbness. For example, "instead of just
putting that crap on a 10 and going to town," Lachman suggested using a
lesser vibrator setting.
Bullet
vibrators, which are smaller and have an only one-speed setting, are
recommended by Skyler. She recommends taking breaks as needed if you experience
numbness when being intimate with a partner. (We're sure you can come up with
other ways to pass the time while you wait for your nerve endings to calm
down.)
Also,
change things up whenever you can. If we always masturbate in the same way
using the same products, we'll begin to create a strong pathway to pleasure
that could become restrictive, Fine explained. The concept of fetish is a
fantastic example of this because if you absolutely need a feather to have an
orgasm, you might not have pleasure without it. It's necessary to have multiple
vibrators and interact with our bodies to find pleasure in many ways if we get
so specific that we can only experience pleasure in one way.
The
easiest approach to avoid the problem, according to Katerina Lin, president of
luxury sexual lifestyle brand JimmyJane, is to listen to your body. Begin
slowly and with yourself. She said, "Really understand yourself."
Experiment with varied pressures and paces to see how you respond. There are
plenty of alternatives if you become too accustomed to certain products or
models. (JimmyJane, she points out, wants to make toys that are closer to human
touch than those made of other materials, so maybe that will shake things up.)
Lachman
also emphasised the value of being honest with your relationship. Explain that
you use a toy in your own time and that you might not come as readily having
sex with them. A candid conversation beforehand can help them avoid feeling
horrible in the moment (even though, as we know, sex should be about pleasure,
not the pursuit of an orgasm). Maybe they'll even bring the device into bed
with you so you can both enjoy it.