What
transpired when you chose to date someone who slipped into your DMs
· POST
BY SIENNA BARTON
When someone you have a
crush on turns out to not be what you had hoped they would be, it is always
incredibly and profoundly frustrating. Giddiness and a sense of possibilities
are swiftly replaced with feelings of defeat when the eagerly anticipated next
fuck escapes your grasp.
After seeing pictures of
her modeling on the Instagram of a local brand a few months ago, Aiden added
her to his Instagram account. She followed him back since he was adorable, had
a friendly grin, and had mentioned in his profile bio who the traditional
owners of the land were. And that was it for a while. Apart from occasionally
liking each other's postings, we didn't communicate until a few weeks ago.
She tweeted a lot of
political memes and information on voting in the run-up to the significant
election; she was just another progressive millennial urging other progressive
millennials to do what they were going to do anyhow. They started irregular
chatting after Aiden responded to one of these Instagram stories.
When he later sent her a
message about a picture of her dog while she was at a friend's party, it felt
like a good indication because it gave him an opportunity to speak with her.
They took a quick look at his profile when she turned to face her pals and
said, "I think this guy is onto me." She heard her companion slur,
"Oh, he's gorgeous." "I enjoy him with you. Attempt it!
She chose not to pursue
it because of how shy and insecure she is. As an alternative, she kept sharing
Instagram stories about the TV series she was watching and pictures of adorable
flowers she had seen that day. She posted an Instagram story about starting the
entire second season of Russian Doll from the beginning.
After a few hours, a
notice appeared on her phone. Can I join you for season two? was written in
gleaming letters. Aiden was there. She performed that stupid little thing she
does when she's excited, yelling something that sounded like a garbled shriek
and flinging her phone away in shock. However, her reply came across as calm
and collected: "Yeah, I think it can be arranged. When are you available?
She frequently gets
strange males who ask her to call them daddy in Instagram DMs, and because she
is curvy and sex-positive, she ignores these messages before blocking the
senders. Although some friends vehemently assert that "Dating apps are
dead, people are meeting through their DMs," her buddy recently began
dating someone who sent her an Instagram DM, and they are excruciatingly happy
She therefore found
herself pondering something she had never considered doing before: genuinely
dating a man who slid into her direct message. We couldn't get together during
the weekend of Russian Doll's Netflix premiere for circumstances that couldn't
be controlled — he was swamped with deadlines at work and she had the sick — so
they made do with a phone call and settled being Insta penpals
He questioned her in a
variety of ways, from serious inquiries like "Why do you live at home with
your grandparents?" and "What are your ideas on drug
decriminalisation?" to more obscene inquiries like "What's your
favourite position?"
For that last one, she
does what she likes to refer to as "the implied nude," which provides
some context. In essence, it's a glorified selfie with the appearance of some
nudity but no actual nudity visible. For instance, she might record herself
removing a bra strap while still wearing one, deleting the film cheekily before
her entire tit emerges.
She does this for a few
reasons, chief among them being her intense anxiety about revenge porn. She
also finds the hint of nudity and what it allows the viewer to conjure up
appealing. She's never seen a hard dick photo that made her personally think, "Oh
yeah, that turns me on," but that's just her.
She emailed Aiden a video
of herself in her bathroom, getting ready to take a shower, the other night.
She was only conversing about a trivial matter when the camera was tilted to
reveal her face, bare shoulders, and a hint of cleavage.
She first noticed the
emergence of a pink flag the next day. He gave her a video of a social media
influencer dancing in a tiny dress with the caption, "This video is my
second sexual awakening." They had been making fun of her Instagram
presence as being full of thirst traps (which it was). I've probably watched it
ten times.
She didn't like it, but
she did what so many insecure women do: she gave him the benefit of the doubt.
She had even seen the movie a few times, and she looked amazing. She
nevertheless dismissed it, claiming that everyone makes mistakes occasionally.
The following night was
the icing on the cake. She was watching Russian Doll on a Saturday night when
Aiden messaged her to check on her (boring). When she inquired about his night,
he spoke of a good time he had watching sports on television while also adding,
"But I did just get a message from someone I met in a pub, wanting me to
come over." She felt uneasy right away.
Little does she know, I'm
happy watching the football, he added after sensing her uneasiness. The fact
that didn't help either, and Sienna questioned what sort of reaction he was
intending to elicit from her—jealousy, interest, or titillation—made her feel
worse. She simply felt bad.
With seven read but
unanswered messages in a succession, he swiftly sent two more messages, both of
which joked that he had scared her away. She might have been being judgmental,
but isn't it strange to tell a person you want to date that someone else just
asked you for a root? Did he believe it would boost his marketability?
She's learned from years
of dating a variety of a$$holes, from the barely bothersome to the downright
sinister, that she should go when I start to feel yucky. Because she wanted to
give people the benefit of the doubt, she frequently disregarded the nagging
feeling in her stomach, which put her in awkward circumstances.
Before responding, she
phoned her pal to make sure she wasn't being unreasonable. While speaking over
the loudspeaker with her friend, she typed a message, but she was hesitant to
hit send. Despite her disappointment at having to break things up with Aiden
before they had got started, she felt confident in her decision.
The radical act of
self-care that she is now capable of is listening to her instincts and acting
on it. Because she believed she didn't deserve better, she has in the past
persuaded herself to stay with men who treated her brutally.
She feels bad for the
girl who didn't speak out for herself and is happy that she has now done so.
What about dating those who enter her direct message? According to her pals,
it's the way of the future, therefore she believes she is still open to the
idea. Apps for dating are purportedly obsolete.