He Loved me despite me being a mess


He Loved me despite me being a mess


When I first met him, I was going through one of the most difficult times of my life. I knew I was broken beyond repair, and I was afraid he wouldn't love me because of it. He, on the other hand, never judged me. He simply encircled me with his arms and gripped me even tighter. He never viewed me as I saw myself, instead of persuading me that I was someone worth loving. That I was a nice person with good attributes, that I wasn't a failure or a disaster, and that I had accomplishments to be proud of. He saw something in me that I didn't see in myself, and he never condemned how I abused and destroyed my own self-esteem.

It's difficult to live with an inferiority complex. It's the voice in your head telling you, "You're not good enough." But he buried those ideas by accepting who I was and how I perceived myself completely. In his perspective, I was never needy or clingy; instead, he saw goodness in me. Instead of the bad attributes I despised, he chose to see kindness, compassion, and empathy. And I could talk to him about anything since he was uncritical of my shortcomings and never sought to alter me. He loved me unreservedly for who I was, not for who he wanted me to be.

That is what love is all about. When you see someone who is vulnerable, when their eyes are thrown downwards because they are ashamed of who they are, you love them even more. He discreetly mumbles to me, "I love you for you," when I'm embarrassed by simply being myself. On the bad days, the soothing, consoling, and peaceful feeling I get from his words and my experiences with him are what keep me going.

Right now, I'm working on self-love. Every day, I set aside time for self-love and self-care. It's a work in progress, and I'm far from a perfect masterpiece, yet he still liked me. Despite my flaws, he showed complete acceptance of me. He taught me how to love myself, and I'll never forget how he made me feel. That it's alright to be vulnerable and speak up to someone about your darkest secrets without feeling ashamed or embarrassed. It's alright to love oneself and to be loved by someone else.

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My greatest regret in life is that I brought him down with me. I couldn't imagine the strain he was under, continuously supporting, reassuring, and comforting me. He may have been a lot happy with someone who was more emotionally mature and stable than her. We did, however, choose each other at one time. But I'm filled with remorse for subjecting him to all he didn't deserve and for making him feel burdened by my issues. I brought him down in some respects since he had the capacity to be and accomplish anything in this world.

I tried so hard to give him the world because I knew he deserved so much more than I could give him, but despite my mess, he chose to love me.

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