To the girl stuck in an abusive relationship, From the girl who escaped an abusive relationship.


To the girl stuck in an abusive relationship, From the girl who escaped an abusive relationship.


My heart starts to beat faster, louder, and harder as I lie in bed, frozen by flashbacks of an abusive relationship. Through the shared apartment wall, I can hear the bass in his voice. Berating is a sound that I am all too familiar with. You are not allowed to speak to him. If I didn't know better, I'd assume your silence meant he was alone, possibly yelling on the phone. It's evident that this isn't a conversation between the two of you. It's just the voice of an enraged, disrespectful somebody who isn't even deserving of the title of man.

Glass shattering from our shared wall brings a tear to my eye. I've been in your shoes before. "Should I be contacting the cops?" I ask myself. I feel bad for not calling, but I know that if the cops had arrived, the violence would have escalated the following time. I've been in your shoes. I sat there, watching as the man I thought loved me screamed at me and threw things at me. I've had the same ominous thoughts you have, constantly wondering, "Am I going to be the next thing he breaks?"

A bag is flung upon our shared steps, and the door bangs twice. There is a little pause. I don't see you depart, so I'm guessing you're still with that man in that apartment. Panic overtakes me. Are you all right? Why has the combat come to a halt? 10 minutes, 15 minutes, and 20 minutes have passed. This entire time, my mind has been racing. My mind has convinced my body that I am the one who is reliving this debate.

I hear a quiet voice, but not clearly enough to figure out a judgement on the matter. I hear your laugh after an hour has passed. You two walk away, hands in each other's as if nothing had happened.

I'm completely spent. Because of our shared barriers, I unintentionally experienced my own trauma. I thought I'd broken the cycle when I left my own abusive relationship. I had assumed that I would be able to sleep all night. I believed I'd recovered.

I'm not sure what caused the dispute between you two or what it's about, but I can assure you that you don't deserve to be treated this way. No human being has ever done so.

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