The book by John Gray, “Men are from mars and women are from Venus” is an entire bible classifying the traits of both Genders lucidly. This New York bestseller book takes us on a tour covering all the aspects one needs to know about the opposite gender. Most of the serious topics are covered in a glee manner in this book, which helps both the genders understand, implement and become gender tolerant.

Men and women differ not only in physical aspects but also in psychological, emotional, and physiological aspects. Men usually tend to go inside their caves when they face an issue and usually refrain from opening up. Whereas women tend to indulge in other’ problems or pain to overcome their own problems. Men usually avoid sharing certain things until and unless it is very necessary. Women already have an intimate group of people where she pours their entire day. Men do not compare their love life with others, they remain happy, content, and satisfied. Women believe in getting one step ahead of their Instagram followers to showcase how much she is loved by their partner.

Both partners are in love when they confess their love for each other without any pressure and high expectations. Usually, the female counterpart is more emotional and sensitive in matters of love, friendship, and relationship. Everything gets very easily affected by women more than men. They tend to create their own world of fantasies and dreams for the partner that will arrive or has arrived. Men usually like to keep it simple and sophisticated.

When two people interact, they come to know about each other’s likes, dislikes, hobbies, etc. Frequent meets, chatting, face time, etc. have become means of communication with effective results. The relationship is a two-way process, both genders have to equally input their time, efforts, and emotions. Every movie and series that one might have watched before getting into a relationship might have created an image that relationships are either magical or challenging. But the reality is that relations are what the couple makes it. It can remain magical if trust and loyalty remain. It can also turn challenging if both parties are not on the same page. Relationships are a mutual understanding between both genders, but women tend to suffer, adjust and tolerate more when it comes to relationships.

Many of us grew up watching typical Bollywood love stories, where in the end everything was sorted and the ones in love finally met. These movies, serials, and nowadays series on the OTT platform have raised the standards of love, friendship, relationships, etc. It has created a whole new dream world for every viewer, making them believe in the quote that “love is blind”. The word love has a wide definition, people love their pets, things, work, friends, family, etc. All this love has a certain extent and does not exceed more than a limit.

Love occurs mutually between opposite genders and even the same genders. It is not a replica of what occurs in movies, it is a feeling, bond, connection, and subtleness. Love is not an exam that everyone has to prepare for, suffer and clear. It is a strong foundation of trust, loyalty, and belief that ensures safety with each other in a growing relationship. Usually, the image of people in love is made skeptical and such that they have committed a crime. Even if we as humans have made it to the moon, confessing one’s love for their own family is a task in itself.

The new generation has made everything available at their fingertips with unlimited internet access. This freedom has no restriction and watch, it can be a bane for a few and a boon for some. The growing and booming world of erotic movies and pornography has hyped the concept of love. More than love, it has just become a tool of sensuality and eroticism. Every couple starts fantasizing as that about the movie couple rather than keeping it natural.

Every movie is either based on erotic scenes or has few erotic scenes. Due to this, the young generation rushes to watch such shows on the first day of release. The scenes are hyped up to such an extent that it is difficult to replicate them. Due to such scenes, these movies turn to earn more at the box office, get higher views on release in OTT, have more chances of pirated copies and have more ratings, and recognition in award shows. A few of the most watched and recommended movies that have aroused fantasies in many generations are The wolf of the wall street, Fifty shade trilogy, American pie, 365 days, etc. All these movies get more attention and focus from the youth audience.

The trilogy of Fifty shades was the most awaited film out of any marvel or DC creations back then. It was preferred to watch on a personal screen than on the big screen and implement. Many couples tried to replicate the scene and see how it felt, more often men fantasize about this kind of activity. Women in marriages, specially arranged marriages feel awkward in communicating about intimacy, trying new positions, etc. Those who have a love marriage have mostly communicated about this part of the relationship. Apart from menstruation, sex and sexual desires also come under the taboo category. One can watch porn privately but fear talking about it. One can masturbate in private but feel awkward in imparting sex education.

Sex, sexual desires, and proper sex education should be talked about and discussed at least with your partner. It is not a taboo or heinous crime. But recording your intimacy, mocking your partner’s performance in front of your friends, and not respecting their no, is a heinous crime. Intimacy is a mutual thing, you enjoy the most when both are equally involved, communicating and sharing the experience.

WAYS TO COMMUNICATE SEXUAL DESIRE - When it comes to women, there are certain ways in which they can communicate about their desires and know their partner's desires without causing any ego issues.

·         Have an open discussion – once you know that the marriage event is coming up, partners discuss clothes, venue, and food together. There is this regular conversation taking place between the bride and groom-to-be. If it is an arranged marriage, there might be a gap or buffer till marriage. During this period, both sides of the couple should talk their heart out. One’s likes, dislikes, fears, etc. is a common thing to discuss, but discussing places to visit after marriage, going shopping together, spending some quality time together, etc. are ways to know your partner. Women should feel free to talk about their menstruation and other physical or emotional issues with their male counterparts. This becomes an ice-breaking moment for them, and one can easily talk about intimacy.

·         Keep a common diary or google sheet – even if you might have seen erotic movies or porn, there can be a set of things you want to try with your partner or some things you refrain from trying. Before the first night, it’s always good to share the anxiety, emotions, and fantasy, as it is going to be memorable. Equal participation is required from both ends so the enjoyment is also worthy. By making notes in the diary or a google sheet, one can always update the fantasy, do’s, and don’ts without any hesitation.  

·          It’s totally fine to say NO – Intercourse is beautiful when both the partners indulge in it with all the mood and soul. One of the partners is not being ok, it’s the responsibility of another partner to respect their stand and not end up being violent or forceful. Marital rapes end up shaking the whole foundation of the marriage and shattering all the good things. Being in a relationship does not give both parties entire authority over decisions. When it comes to intercourse especially, it should be mutual and full of respect.

In the world of technology and getting everything at your fingertips, the ICHHORI website is keeping up with the needs of readers. The gender-neutral information is creating a space for gender equality addressing women's issues, spreading awareness about certain diseases, likes and dislikes of women, etc. It’s creating a platform where a naive can also get proper and correct information.

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