How do you quit pleasing others?

How do you quit pleasing others? 


People-pleasing behavior can display a range of problematic behaviors, ranging from not knowing how to express healthy rage to constantly being afraid of upsetting others.

The interactions we have as adults in later phases of our lives are shaped by our upbringing and the conditions of our youth. However, when we grow up in dysfunctional homes where our emotional needs are not satisfied, we develop the belief that we are not deserving of care. As a result, as we grow older, this shapes us to be people pleasers. "The trauma response of the fawn is people attractive. It's crucial to have compassion for yourself when you break this tendency because it formerly kept you safe. Nicole LePera, a psychologist, wrote in her latest Instagram post and addressed the signs of people pleasing and how to overcome it.

Our mental health can be seriously harmed by people pleasing. We develop a strong desire to betray ourselves as we continually learn to put the needs of others above our own. Additionally, we overflow with unhealthily fueled rage, bitterness, and a sense of being taken advantage of. Nicole took note of the indications that, despite their appearance, people-pleasing is truly a trauma response.

·       Rage: The inability to communicate constructive anger constructively and a profound dread of conflict or combat can appear to be people-pleasing.

·       Yes or no: There are instances when we are not prepared to complete a task or do something, but we choose to say yes to appease the other person.

·       Detailed explanation: A persistent tendency to over-explain oneself or to apologize excessively for errors is a people-pleasing attitude.

·       Opinions: When we are people pleasers, we struggle to articulate our own. This may also result from our desire to avoid disappointing the other person.

 How do we stop trying to please everyone?

·       Disappointment: Keep in mind that distressing or disappointing others are a part of life, and sometimes out of our control.

·       Boundaries: Setting limits is vital and healthy in relationships; it has nothing to do with insulting the spouse.

·       Needs: We are deserving, and our desires, needs, and opinions are all significant. Additionally, we must keep in mind that our value is independent of other people's opinions of us.

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