Does Marriage Counselling Work?

 Does Marriage Counselling Work?

Does Marriage Counselling Work_ichhori.webp

A couple may seek professional counselling for their relationship for a variety of reasons. Marriage counselling and couples therapy can be pretty successful, especially if started early.

After deciding to try treatment, the next step is to identify a counsellor who specialises in marriage or couples counselling. You may need to consult with more than one therapist to discover the best match. Both parties must be at ease, so keep looking until you find out the appropriate individual.

Do You Need Marriage Counselling?

A couple may seek marriage counselling for a variety of reasons. While some people are more likely to divorce because of characteristics such as marrying at a young age, having divorced parents, or being in a lower-income group, none of these indications that you require counselling.

Instead, evaluate parts of your connection that could be causing grief, discontent, or conflict. Consider the following inquiries about yourself, your spouse, and your marriage:

  • Do you and your partner disagree on religious beliefs or values?

  • Do you frequently criticise each other?

  • Is your marriage filled with defensiveness?

  • Do you tend to distance yourselves from one another?

  • Do you have feelings of scorn, rage, or animosity for one another?

  • Do you think your communication skills are lacking?

  • Do you have a lack of interest in your partner?

  • Do you have the impression that you and your partner have nothing in common?

  • Do you think you're drifting apart from your partner?

  • Is your marriage plagued by infidelity, addiction, or abuse?

If you replied "yes" to several of these questions, you may be more likely to experience relationship dissatisfaction and divorce. It doesn't imply divorce is unavoidable, but it does mean you'll have to work considerably more to keep your relationship healthy and joyful. A marriage counsellor can assist you with this task.

There are a variety of reasons why a marriage may require counselling. Daily stress, mixed with the obligations of work and family, can make it difficult for couples to feel close and connected.

It's critical to realise that considering marriage counselling does not imply that your relationship is doomed. Instead, it shows a willingness to put in the effort to enhance your marriage, increase communication, and become closer to your mate.

Couples that have reasonable expectations of one another and their marriage, communicate effectively, employ conflict resolution skills, and are compatible are less likely to divorce. Even these couples can benefit from counselling during times of transition or simply to strengthen their communication skills and bond.

Does Marriage Counselling Work?

Emotionally-focused couples therapy (EFT), founded by Dr Sue Johnson, is the most researched and effective type of couples therapy. According to research, this treatment is long-lasting and beneficial to people of many ethnic and cultural backgrounds.

One 2017 study, for example, examined the effectiveness of couples therapy in a group of veterans of varying ages and races and discovered that it was usually helpful, with relationships continuously improving 18 months after treatment. Another 2017 study discovered gains that lasted for 24 months following therapy. EFT was proven to be beneficial in couples battling infertility in a 2015 study.

According to marriage and relationship researchers, the goal of couples therapy should be to change the partners' habits of contact, emotional connection, and communication.

Is Marriage Counselling Worth It?

Marriage counselling can be beneficial for any couple looking to improve their relationship. It can be beneficial at various stages of a relationship and can address a wide range of concerns that may arise in a marriage.

  • Counselling for young couples that helps them build healthy communication and routines early in their marriage may be beneficial. According to one study, counselling before marriage can also empower couples to take action to keep their relationship healthy in the long run.

  • Couples who wish to work on themselves can benefit as well. Counselling is more effective when both spouses are open and willing to examine their own problems and make improvements.

  • Couples who seek counselling sooner may do better than those who wait. According to Dr John Gottman, a top specialist on relationships and marriage, couples who seek counselling before problems become severe might reap significant benefits. 

Even couples who have reached the stage of contemplating divorce can benefit from marriage counselling.

How Happy Couples Handle Conflict

It is important to remember that even people who are in healthy, happy relationships suffer issues and disputes in their relationships. According to research, happy couples quarrel about the same things that unhappy couples do. Happy marriages also have disagreements about money, children, in-laws, and intimacy. The key to these couples' success is how they handle their arguments.

John Gottman's study focuses on happy couples. He discovered that, while all couples face difficulty in their relationships, happy couples appear to know how to resolve their arguments because they are built on affection and friendship. Couples who are unhappy may struggle with this skill set.

The specific issues that couples quarrel over can also have an impact. Researchers discovered that happier couples prefer to focus on difficulties that are more easily resolved in one study published in the journal Family Process. Unhappy spouses instead focus their disagreements on long-standing issues that do not have an immediate fix. 

"Being able to successfully discriminate between conflicts that need to be resolved vs those that can be put aside for the time being may be one of the keys to a long-lasting, happy relationship," lead author Amy Rauer noted in a press statement.

A Word From Ichhori

While many people wait until their relationship troubles become unbearable before getting help, obtaining treatment early on may be beneficial and improve your experience. Learning to improve your communication skills, develop effective conflict resolution methods, and repair your emotional closeness can all assist to deepen your bond and make you feel closer to your partner.

There is no such thing as a perfect or conflict-free marriage. If you believe you and your partner are having difficulty, marital counselling can be a helpful tool in getting your relationship back on track.

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