Your parents have begun to drop hints that you should be married too. They suggest your uncle or aunt knows someone who would be ideal for you, and they're just half kidding. You get the awkward feeling that they won't be kidding about it fairly soon.
Ladies, haven't we all considered this question at some point in our lives? We Indians, in particular, have this choice. We'll explain the difference for those of you who don't know (it's weird if you don't). So, people tend to choose their partners on their own in love marriages, while people prefer partners selected by their families or parents in arranged marriages. Arranged marriages are amusing and often distasteful to many people in foreign societies. However, we believe, there are two sides to any coin. Arranged marriages and love marriages both have benefits and drawbacks of their own.
The ideal way to pick a life partner is a subject of constant debate. Marriage is a lifetime bond that should not be left to fate and isn't it, therefore, vital to grasp the entire scenario before coming to any conclusions?
Let's dig at love marriages for a minute.
In the evolution of human culture, love isn't a new phenomenon. Humans have been in love with their chosen partner since the dawn of time. In reality, love marriage is actually quite natural in which a person's natural bond with another person leads them to wedlock. Well isn't it just perfect? We meet our true love, marry, and spend the rest of our lives together happily. What is the worst that can happen? Actually, a lot of stuff! In the words of F. Scott Peck, ‘Love is not effortless. On the contrary, it is effortful’. As we told you, there are always two sides to a coin.
Why don’t we begin with the pros?
In a love marriage, you get to select your own spouse.
You don't fall in love with every person you come across. When someone fascinates you in certain ways, you begin to admire them. With the passage of time, that liking grows into love. Finally, when you marry that guy, you will be marrying someone you desire and respect.
You will find a compatible mate in love marriage.
Not everyone who opts for an arranged marriage ends up with a compatible partner. Whereas love marriage is the perfect avenue to choosing the right mate who will walk with you for the longest time possible and show a high level of compatibility and respect in your married life.
Love marriage opens the door to social equality.
Love marriages between people of the same race, community, or religion are extremely uncommon. Much of the time, individuals belong to different halves of society. When two people from various castes and cultures marry, the marriage norms are demolished, which is a massive change in our society. As a result, we see the rise of social equity.
Marriages that are based on love are more likely to be happy and prosperous.
Love marriages are more likely to have a more understanding future because they are between people who have shared love and respect for each other and are also familiar with one another. And you'll have a happier life when you understand and honour each other.
A new class of society emerges from love marriages.
When two people from two different cultures come together in wedlock, they give rise to a new class of society after having kids. The majority of children born from love marriages are intelligent, immunologically strong, and emotionally mature.
Now that we’ve discussed the positive side, let’s discuss the drawbacks:
- The partners are ultimately responsible for their own life choices and for taking a stance in disputes.
- In certain love marriages, the couple separates from their families in order to start a new life together. As a result, they are totally cut off from seeking much-needed reassurance and support from their elders.
- Even today, love marriage is frowned upon in many orthodox communities. Many people regard marriage as a status symbol and a means of ensuring family honour.
- Even if we have dated our partners for a long time prior to marriage, getting married and staying together is a completely different process with its own collection of peaks and troughs.
- It is not guaranteed that your love would last the backlash of society and also the interference of other family members.
Wait! It is not the time to make a decision yet.
Let us discuss arranged marriages for a moment. Let's do it, shall we?
An arranged marriage holds little appeal for many progressive youths of the present era. However, it is a reality that approximately 90% of Indians agree to settle in arranged marriages. A marriage is more than just the association of two people; it is also the fusion of two families, two social groups that are today more intertwined than they have ever been. This is the central focus of an arranged marriage. Parents will first evaluate whether the prospective groom's family is compatible with theirs when searching for a match for their daughter. Do they have similar cultural and religious origins, social status, educational levels, and beliefs? The most sought-after qualities in an arranged marriage tend to be security and reliability. Although this may seem to be a frigid approach, the importance of a successful marriage cannot be overstated. It's possible that this is one of the explanations for India's low divorce rate. Again, there are disadvantages as well.
But let’s check out the Pros first:
You have options. Lots of them!
When you use the arranged marriage process to choose a life partner, you have plenty of choices to choose from. As a result, you can commit to your ambitions and search for the ideal life partner
You can calculate everything from every angle without guilt.
You should have multiple criteria in front of you in an arranged marriage and fit the potential partner to those standards. You should approach the hunt for a life partner from a variety of perspectives to ensure that your decision is full proof and leads you to the most appropriate match.
Compromises, what’s that?
When you fall in love with someone and want to make them your forever mate, you must make a lot of sacrifices. You are not obligated to accept anyone's proposal in an arranged marriage. You don't have to make any compromises and can stick to your goals.
You’ve bare minimum expectation from him, atleast initially.
When two individuals marry in an arranged marriage, they have a propensity to anticipate the bare minimum from their life partner. As a result, even small acts of sensitivity and compassion will make them happier and help them get along before they discover everything there is to know about the other person and develop the family home.
Blame your family when things go wrong.
You can always blame your family when things go wrong because they actively participate in your decision to select a life partner and often even manipulate their children to choose the guy they want.
And finally, this is the con time!
- If you want it or not, your family will have a say. Prepare to be irritated and annoyed if you enjoy your freedom and independence.
- There is always uncertainty about your partner initially. You’ll have trust issues and might also feel that he’s not being real just to impress you.
- You may not have enough time to get to know one another and consider each other's thoughts, beliefs, and viewpoints on numerous matters As a result, after the wedding is over, there will be a great deal of adjusting to do.
- Practical concerns take precedence over emotional and physical compatibility. If you say, "I have no feelings for him," family members will answer, "Love will flourish with time."
- In certainly arranged marriages, one or both spouses might not find the other person compatible. As a consequence, it's possible that they don't love each other.
Many people who are about to undergo an arranged marriage have a deep sense of responsibility and obligation to their parents. They assume they are required to accept their parents' choice of a life partner. To do otherwise seems to be seen as deceit towards their families and derogatory to their parents. Such people would often pursue a marriage completely aware that they will be miserable only to make their parents happy. On the other hand, love marriage is often misinterpreted as a means of rebellion against one's parents. Seeking a compromise between our own interests and our parents' expectations is a daunting challenge that we all face.
Now that you've learned everything there is to know about Love and Arranged Marriages, you should also be conscious that there is no magical recipe for making a marriage work. Both arranged and love marriages have positive and negative aspects. It's up to you to take whatever journey makes it easier for you to be happy even if it's difficult. And if nothing works, there’s always Seema aunty.