How much gap should be there between first Child and second Child?

When a couple decides to have a second child, they think of the ideal age gap between the two. Indeed, this is a completely personal decision that can be influenced by a variety of factors, but there are some things to remember if you want to be on the safe side, with regards to a healthy mother and child. Some people prefer a two-year delay, and others prefer a five-year wait. 

Without a doubt, the decision to have a second child is solely yours to make, but you wouldn’t want to put the mother’s health at risk. It is crucial to wait until she has fully recovered from the first pregnancy before considering the second. There are benefits as well as drawbacks in spacing children too closely or too long.

Having a gap of 12 to 18 months between first Child and second Child

When children have a 12-18 month age difference, they tend to form a stronger bond. The first-born is too young to comprehend the feeling of envy, so the two become friends and playmates. However, the high demands of younger children can take a toll on a mother’s health. From sleepless nights that could last a year or two, to breastfeeding the children, and to even training and teaching the both of them, the tasks are multiplied. According to research, complications such as preterm birth, small gestational age, and low birth weight can arise where the age difference between two children is less than 18 months.

Maternal death or harm was found to be 1.2% higher in women over 35 who conceived six months after a previous birth. The chance is reduced to 0.5% by waiting 18 months between pregnancies. Being pregnant within 12 months of giving birth was linked to increased risks in women of all ages.


  1. If you have enough stamina to deal with the needs of both children, your children will basically grow up together.
  2. For a few months, you will be changing soiled diapers and listening to whiny kids. However, it will be over in a brief period of time, allowing you to resume your daily life.
  3. Your older child will begin to act as though he/she is the older sibling and will begin to do something on his/her own. By watching the older sibling, the younger one will be able to pick up a few thing easily.
  4. The two will have to share things with each other and they will almost grow up together. There will be disagreements, but they will grow a deep bond and friendship. They will have a playmate to play with for the most part of their childhood.
  5. The short age gap between the two children will not trigger feelings of envy or competition between them, if raised properly.
  6. As a parent, you would be able to rely on your job and make other life decisions after they reach a fair age because you wouldn’t have to think about their needs.


  1. Giving birth to a second child in less than a year after the first can be challenging. The first few years will be dominated by the same pattern of waking up in the middle of the night, changing diapers, breastfeeding, and so on.
  2. Since will be kept busy with one child or the other, you will have less chances to enjoy seeing your babies grow up. Both parents can become exhausted as a result of this.
  3. At the time the second child is born, the first one’s sleep pattern could not have been established. This may lead to conflicts when both children need attention in different ways simultaneously.
  4. Having two children within a few years will put a burden on your budget as you will need additional cribs, prams, chairs, etc.
  5. Since both children will be growing up at the same time, the costs of meeting their needs and funds needed for schooling may all occur at the same time, and the budget will become difficult to manage.

Having a gap of 2 years between first Child and second Child

Some doctors advise couples to wait two years before having a second child. Not only is it safe for the mother’s and the baby’s wellbeing, but it also helps the first child to a point where he or she can articulate himself or herself and begin to understand things better. Most parents prefer having this age gap between their children because it helps the mother fully recover.

According to Linda Sonna, a child psychologist, it can be difficult to raise children with a 2-3 year age gap because your firstborn was used to getting you all to herself/himself, and if you are not around to play, he/she might get irritated and lash out on the baby.


  1. Having a reasonable age difference of 2-3 years between each child allows you to concentrate on your child and be invested in each child’s developmental years.
  2. Your older child will begin to develop independence and autonomy by the time you have your second child; he/she will begin eating and playing on his/her own. Your first child will now be able to express his needs more effectively. This can be very helpful, particularly if you have a second child to look after.
  3. Your firstborn will be ecstatic to take on the part of the older sibling. He/she might also take on the role of looking after his/her younger sibling and keeping him/her occupied while you attend to other matters.
  4. Your body must have recovered from the stress of the first pregnancy after a gap of 2-3 years. It will be safer now to give birth to a second child. Further, you will have weaned your firstborn into solid foods, nursing a second child would be easier. 
  5. When your firstborn starts attending preschool, you will be able to properly plan your second child’s activities.


  1. Because the two children are 2-3 years apart in age, they will have to wait a few years before they can play together.
  2. The age difference will cause issues over time. It is possible that the younger child may choose to follow the older sibling and learn from him/her. However, the older child may refuse to play with the younger one because he lacks the ability to comprehend the game. This can escalate to squabbles, fights, and a never-ending stream of tears. These variations fade away as they reach adolescence.
  3. It could be impossible to abandon your younger child. You will either have to find a nanny or enrol your older child in daycare, which would add to your expenses.

Having a 3-year or longer gap between first Child and second Child

When there is a three-year or longer delay, the first child is old enough to be self-sufficient and stable. The mother’s body has already recovered from the first pregnancy, childbirth, and breastfeeding by this time. Since both children have different desires and preferences, parents can devote their attention to the both of them separately. However, getting pregnant after such a long time could be difficult for some people. Experts believe that a second pregnancy after three or more years may result in increased pregnancy and childbirth complications. A mother could develop hypertension, kidney problems and even diabetes if she waits up to five years. Young parents prefer to have an age gap of 5 years because age and health are crucial factors when it comes to raising a child. Couples who have been diagnosed with declining fertility may choose to have a wide age difference between their first and second born with proper preparation and the use of artificial insemination. 


  1. You will be able to see both of your children’s growth and development before they start school. This enables you to concentrate on each child before they become self-reliant.
  2. You will be able to endure the second pregnancy smoother now that you have been through one pregnancy. You will have plenty of time and energy on your hands to focus on the newborn.
  3. The older sibling would be delighted to assist you in caring for the baby. It is best not to burden him/her with parental duties, but you must let the complexities of an older sibling with a younger sibling grow naturally.


1.Because of the wide age difference, each child is at a completely different stage of development. It is possible they will not have much in common because of this.

2.Since of the children will already be in school while the other is on his/her way to college, schooling would be different for them.

3.Each child will make his/her own set of demands, and it will be difficult to make each one feel treated equally. When supporting one with schoolwork, the other one will want to play. When you are busy with the younger one, the older one will need your assistance with homework.

4.You may feel ready to have another child, in your heart. However, your body may need some time to conceive. With such a wide delay between births, there are certain medical complications.

5.You may have started going part-time or socialising with your friends while caring for your first child. Choosing to have a second child will necessitate a break from work and socialising. Social talks may revolve around potential plans for the children, while you are engrossed in finding the right diaper for your newborn.

According to the World Health Organization, there should be at least a 24-month difference between the first and second pregnancy. The mother’s body has completely recovered from her first pregnancy by this stage, as she has replenished the nutrients lost during her first pregnancy. If the gap of 24 months cannot be followed, a minimum of 18 months should be kept. 





Image Source: Firstcry

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