What are the Top Reasons marriages fail?

Reasons why Marriages Fail and some some reasons for India's Low Divorce rate

Divorce was not introduced into Indian society until much later. Marriages have collapsed before that, but such situations were extremely rare at the time. Marriages end in divorce for a myriad of reasons not for one in particular. Divorce occurs at a rate of less than 1% in India. 13 out of every 1000 marriages end up in a divorce. This indicates that Indians have the world's lowest divorce rate. But that does not mean that Indian couples are happy with their marriages. The reason behind this is actually quite depressing. 

divorce rate in india_ichhori.com.webp

The following are some of the reasons for India's low divorce rate:

  1. Ideals and Values:

Marriages in India are a celebration of the uniting of two families. So, in the case of a divorce, persuading family members on both sides is difficult. Parents and other family members try their hardest to mediate disputes between husband and wife. Furthermore, Indians are never taught to prioritize their happiness. As a result, couples who do not want to hurt their families' sentiments or reputation end up keeping the marriage going. Furthermore, morals are well ingrained in Indians and are undoubtedly reflected in marriage. People believe that once married, only death can separate them from their spouses.

  1. Patriarchal Society:

Despite the fact that women in India are fairly empowered, many are unable to speak out against their family due to the patriarchal system. In India, after marriage, a woman becomes a member of her husband's family. The tradition of "Giving Away the Bride" is rooted in our marriages. As a consequence, women are hesitant to hurt their parents by going through a divorce.

  1. Religion:

Religion is the most critical factor influencing the longevity of Indian marriages. For example, in Hinduism, marriage between two souls is a very sacred affair that lasts more than one lifetime and may last up to seven. Marriage is considered holy, and no participant has the right to end it at any time.

  1. Gender discrimination:

In our country, primarily men decide on divorce. Women seek divorce in very few circumstances. Only women are advised by their parents and families to adjust to their spouses. Even if women are educated, it is difficult for them to exist in our society after a divorce owing to curious neighbours. Everyone is interested in the lives of a divorced woman. As a result, women in our society are hesitant about divorce, whereas males find it easier to walk away from marriage.

  1. Moral Courts:

In India, courts typically prioritize reconciliation over divorce. Couples are subjected to interminable rounds of counselling and settlement. Following the counselling sessions, the majority of couples reach a middle ground.

Other than this, according to several other surveys, women in India are adjusting to abusive marriages due to the absence of economic security.

But times are changing. However, we can see that the rate of marriage failure has risen dramatically in the recent few decades. Women are getting more empowered and independent. They are standing up for themselves. For example, in 2019, the number of divorce petitions filed in Kochi surpassed 3,000 for the first time in a year. Over the last decade, Mumbai has received an average of 22 divorce petitions per day (2011-2020). Even though the Bandra family court was closed for almost six months because of the Covid-19 outbreak, a daily average of 19 divorce petitions was filed last year. This clearly shows that times are changing.

There is still a long way to go especially in the rural areas. Other than the rural areas, some families are not financially strong enough. The women belonging to these families are still facing oppression and staying silent in abusive marriage. But we are hoping to see a change in the coming years.

Now the question is, why do couples seek divorce? What can be the reason behind the separation of happy families? Let’s find out:

  1. Adultery: With the advent of social media, it has become much simpler to slip into these emotional or sexual relations. It's easier to connect these days - meeting old lovers or new interesting someone. A person who believes their marriage has already been torn apart may have an affair.

  1. Alcohol and Substance Abuse: Alcohol and substance misuse can be a separate issue in itself while living with someone who is abusing substances can be tough. If one partner is unable to kick the habit, it depletes the bank account, causes them to disappear for days on end, and can lead to the breakdown of a marriage. 

  1. Financial Strains: Financial concerns in a marriage can range from minor to major. Some families may face a sudden financial crunch due to losing their job all of a sudden or on the other hand, wasting money on gambling may also be a major reason. The financial crisis might lead to stress and arguments and that can end up in a divorce.

  1. Lack of trust: It is one of the most common causes of conflicts and divorces. Marriage is no exception to the rule that trust is the foundation of any relationship. When there is a lack of trust, it can lead to suspicion and misunderstandings, which can quickly end a relationship. As a result, we advise couples to have trust in each other since trust ensures that all other emotions are in check.

  1. Temper: If one of the partners has a bad temper, the other has to bear with it. However, it becomes difficult when both of them have angry outbursts. A quick temper can make confrontations unpleasant, and it may even be the cause of domestic violence. We've seen examples where vicious conflicts have shattered relationships despite the fact that there was plenty of love and trust between them.

  1. Domestic Violence: Some marriages are toxic from the very beginning. There is no single reason to explain why these marriages are toxic. The presence of domestic violence and physical reason can be a major reason for divorces. Most women are on the receiving end of the abuse.

  1. Attrition: Over time, people drift away and give up. Everyone's lives are so hectic that we become ships passing in the night, we lose contact, and you no longer feel like you're in a marriage. People hunt for alternative methods to meet their needs and end up having affairs – either sexual or emotional – and lack topics to talk about with their partner. They lose their sense of belonging as a family.

  1. Distance: Even though it may seem absurd, distance has broken countless marriages. In marriage, a person needs physical comfort and support, and couples who live apart for work or other circumstances seek a divorce, either voluntarily or out of frustration.

Now that we've identified some of the most likely causes for marriage failure, one of the most difficult problems is determining whether it's time to call it quits or fight it out. Certainly, if someone is in a dangerous situation or the children are suffering as a result of parental disagreement, it is time to part ways. However, if you're trying to stay together and fix things for the sake of your children, that's not a bad decision either. Follow your guts. And if you are not yet on the verge of separating your ways, always remember to maintain your connection, make an effort to communicate and always Listen!


  1. https://www.huffpost.com/entry/10-most-common-reasons-people-divorce_b_8086312#:~:text=Olver%20%26%20Deborah%20Roth-,If%20you%20think%20that%20sexual%20infidelity%20is%20the%20leading%20cause,number%20one%20reason%20marriages%20fail.
  2. https://www.hindustantimes.com/cities/others/mumbai-reported-an-average-of-22-divorce-petitions-daily-101612038442268.html
  3. https://www.newindianexpress.com/cities/kochi/2020/jan/28/divorce-pleas-hit-a-record-3122-in-2019-2095352.html

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