We've all been there — falling for someone who doesn’t feel the same way, isn’t available, or just isn’t right for us. If you're wondering how to stop liking a person you can’t have, know this: you're not weak, you’re human. But staying stuck in one-sided attachment can hurt more than help. Let’s change that.
Step 1: Accept What Is — Not What You Wish It Was
The first and hardest step? Radical honesty. If they don’t like you back, are emotionally unavailable, or are with someone else — don’t fight the facts. You deserve love that’s returned, not imagined.
Step 2: Limit Contact (Yes, Even Online)
- Mute their stories, unfollow if needed
- Delete old messages — or at least archive them
- Stop checking their “last seen” or watching their status updates
Distance isn’t immature. It’s healing. Out of sight really does help your brain reset.
Step 3: Replace the Obsession with Self-Connection
Redirect the energy you were giving them toward yourself:
- Pick up something you’ve paused — gym, art, reading, career goals
- Write down what you’ve learned from the experience (even the pain)
- Ask yourself daily: “What does loving myself look like today?”
Step 4: See the Person Clearly — Not Romantically
We often idealise people when we can’t have them. But look closely: Were they really that great? Did they show up for you? Would they do the same if roles were reversed?
Try this: Write down all the reasons it wouldn’t have worked — and be honest.
Step 5: Don’t Shame Yourself for Feeling
Feelings take time to fade. Don’t rush the process or shame yourself for catching feelings. Just don’t build your life around someone who isn’t building theirs around you.
Bonus: Get Closure Without a Conversation
You don’t always need a final talk. Sometimes, closure is a decision — not a discussion.
Try this journal prompt:
“What was I hoping this person would give me? How can I give that to myself?”
Real People Share
“I kept liking my ex for 6 months after we broke up. What helped? Deleting our old photos and writing a goodbye letter I never sent.” – Erin, 25
“I was obsessed with a coworker who never made a move. Eventually, I realised it wasn’t him — it was the fantasy I built in my head.” – Marcus, 30
Want More Healing Advice?
Sleeping With Your Ex: Is It Ever a Good Idea?
Top Breakup Phrases and What They Really Mean
FAQs
Q: How long does it take to stop liking someone?
It depends. Some people move on in weeks; others need months. The key is not how fast, but how fully.
Q: Is it okay to still care about someone even if I let them go?
Absolutely. Letting go isn’t erasing — it’s choosing your peace over their absence.
Q: Should I tell them I’m moving on?
Only if it’s for you, not for a reaction. You don’t need their permission to heal.
Final Word
Liking someone you can’t have isn’t weakness — it’s a signal. A sign to turn inward. A sign to grow. A sign to love someone who will love you back — starting with you. Learning how to stop liking someone means learning how to choose your emotional freedom over an unavailable fantasy. You’ve got this.