11 ideas for first dates to get to know someone quickly


11 ideas for first dates to get to know someone quickly


On March 1, 2020, I finally downloaded Hinge because I was ready to attempt dating again after a turbulent relationship ended. About two weeks later, COVID struck, and dating had to be put on hold, as we all know. However, as humanity learned to adapt to a persistent pandemic, dating adapted to reflect the times.

It's simple to think that the epidemic snatched away precious time for you to locate a spouse, especially if you had specific milestones in mind, like getting married or starting a family soon. In the early days of the internet, most of my dates took place online and frequently involved ghosting. But after receiving my shot, I was prepared for a more serious and intentional endeavour.

It turns out that many other people are as well. Prioritizing your dating life by deciding what you want and being open and honest with potential partners from the start, as well as practising increased vulnerability and mindfulness by actually letting people into your life rather than hopping from relationship to relationship, are two of the biggest dating trends of 2022 so far. In other words, people are making better dating decisions.

Whether you desire a casual relationship, want to date to learn more about yourself and what you want from your love life, or are ready for commitment. A relationship specialist and nurse practitioner believe the first step in effective dating is establishing your goal. De Oca advised choosing one of those paths and being extremely clear about it in both your interactions with others and your personal attitude.

Regarding any alleged milestones, De Oca advises his clients not to pursue them and instead to date based on their gut feelings.

Because we want to be in long-term relationships, De Oca added, "We want to make sure that we're dating people that meet our relationship goals rather than just dating people that are going to bring us to our goals."

De Oca advises making the most of the time before a first date, particularly if you're online dating, to carry out an effective dating life. He advises speaking with someone over the phone or FaceTime and being thoughtful about the questions you ask. As an illustration, De Oca suggests asking the person how loving they are if you are aware that your love language is physical touch. Instead of blindly chatting with people and just saying "Good morning" and "What's up," use this time to pre-screen them and get to know them.

When you finally go on that first date, you have a great chance to learn a lot about whether or not the other person is a suitable match for what you're searching for. But if you want to date effectively, you shouldn't go on any first date; some dates are considerably better than others for fast getting to know someone.

One date won't offer you the full picture of someone, but if you know what you're looking for, what character characteristics you value in a partner, and what makes you uncomfortable, these first dates can speed up the process. Just keep in mind to create your dating objectives and keep them in mind when on dates.

1. Drinks and Dinner

The classic date involves dinner and drinks for a reason. According to De Oca, if you're attempting to date effectively, "anything that promotes dialogue, any type of situation where you could lean into one another and get to know one other" makes for a fantastic first date. It's a gold mine of information: All you actually need to do is converse while you're seated across from one another (and eat). Dinner and drinks are a great option if you want to discover more about the person, including how they carry themselves in conversation, how they eat (preferably with their mouth shut), and how they interact with the wait staff.

2. Observing people at the park

It's entertaining to observe people, but it may also be a terrific test. You can judge your date's judgmental tendencies, how they speak about other people, and whether they make humorous comments or act bullishly. (Seek out someone who isn't just being cruel about someone's appearance, but has something witty to say about how someone is behaving with their dog.) Additionally, witnessing other people provides you with conversation starters right away, whereas sitting across from someone at a dining table may make you feel like you have to dig up conversation subjects from your ass. Without the awkward silences that result from attempting to slurp spaghetti without appearing ferocious, you still get the close-up talking.

3. Anything like bowling or mini-golf

Getting something done helps avoid awkward pauses. You also get a glimpse of the other person's competitive nature and can determine if they fit the description in the Hinge question, "I'm overly competitive about: everything." According to De Oca, engaging in an activity is usually beneficial because it types of raises the heart rate. Don't focus solely on winning, he advises; you also want some quiet time where you can actually talk. Instead, consider your date's personality as well as their sportsmanship.

4. Trivia

Although trivia is not the truest test of intelligence (I mean, who genuinely knows what cynophobia is?), it is an excellent test of common sense and problem-solving skills. Intelligence is one of the attributes individuals strive for in a relationship. (Cynophobia, by the way, is a fear of dogs.) By observing how someone responds to pressure, how well they listen to you, and how the two of you collaborate, you can find out how they deal with mistakes or when they don't know the answer. After the interview, go out for a drink to process the questions and engage in conversation about something other than obscure details you'll soon forget.

5. Going to Brunch

At 11 a.m., pour someone a pitcher of mimosas to see how they handle alcohol. Compared to a dinner date, brunch is less stressful but still encourages conversation and allows you to observe how they treat those who work in the service sector (and if they offer to pick up the tab, or how well they tip). Brunch fits the bill for a daytime date, is more enjoyable, and provides you time to get to know your date, according to De Oca, who dislikes coffee dates because they are sometimes quite brief. Just be careful not to get so drunk that you forget to determine whether this person matches your objectives by asking the correct questions.

6. Comedy programme

A comedy show, one of my personal favourites, is excellent for sifting out folks if having a similar sense of humour is vital to you. A second date is probably not even worthwhile if you aren't laughing at the same jokes. And if they're laughing at some dubious jokes, you can pretty readily tell what their principles are. You won't have much time to converse during the performance, so make plans to meet up somewhere else afterwards to talk about the performances and yourselves.

7. Bookstore

A bookshop date will make you feel like the lead character in a romance novel if you enjoy reading them. Aisle-hopping might elicit conversation about your interests and subjects you might not otherwise think to bring up. Additionally, you may determine if they are dogmatic about a particular genre or arrogant about what they read. If you enjoy each other's company and decide to go on another date, consider buying a book for each other to read beforehand so you'll have something to talk about when you do.

8. Cooking Together

Cooking may definitely reveal a person's genuine character. Making a meal together displays how you work as a team, much like trivia or activity does. Additionally, you may see how well they follow directions, communicate (plus points if you're working in a confined space), and clean up in the kitchen (which may be useful information for the future). Additionally, there is plenty of time for private conversations as the dinner is prepared and served. Naturally, this will need one of you to travel to the residence of the other, so only proceed if you feel secure and at ease.

9. Skating (ice or roller)

One of my greatest first dates featured us rollerblading through a Brooklyn park. This demonstrated to me that the guy was game for anything and that we were both okay with the possibility of embarrassing ourselves. Going in circles when skating at a rink gets rather monotonous, which may prompt you to talk to pass the time. If you want to explore the idea of becoming physical, skating can be an excuse to hold hands. You may wish to schedule the second half of this exercise date for when your legs begin to tyre, similar to some of the other activity dates previously discussed. My date concluded in the park with takeout food and beverages. We did go on a couple more dates after that, but he ended up being one of the ghosters we talked about previously.

10. Meet your friends there.

Don't make this the entire date because you still want one-on-one time with the person. Instead, have a friend crash the event or make plans to meet up with pals after the main date activity. You'll be able to see how they interact with the people you encounter on a daily basis and determine whether they would fit in well with your existing relationships. This provides your friends with an opportunity to comment and observe how you behave when you're on your date to see if they bring out your best qualities. This is also a wonderful option for a second or third date if you want the opportunity to really be one-on-one the first time. When that time comes, you'll be more aware of your feelings toward the person and perhaps have particular things you want your friends to keep an eye out for.

11. Rallies or protests

You definitely want a spouse who is equally passionate about activism if you are. Additionally, bringing someone on a first date to a protest demonstrates your commitment to your convictions and helps you determine whether they share your passion for the same causes. On a date like this, it's practically impossible to avoid discussing deeper topics, so you'll really learn the essence of who they are as a person. We advise continuing the date with a less strenuous activity so you can both exhibit your lighter sides.


No matter what kind of the first date you go on, De Oca advises paying attention to the actions the other person exhibits. Do they communicate with you in a consistent manner both in person and over text? Do they exhibit warning signs that will only deteriorate over time? Or are they giving out strong signals that call for a second meeting?

One of my pals once said, "If it's not a 'fuck yeah,' it's a no" when it comes to dating. A different piece of advice comes from De Oca: "If we're not overwhelmed with the number of dates we're getting, let's have more second dates than not second dates," he added. "Let's go on another date if it wasn't a harsh no."

De Oca recommends allowing individuals the chance to unveil themselves gradually; after all, some people require more time to come out of their shells, and if you're in a rush, you can lose out on someone special.

You don't have to rush through dates just because you're dating effectively. Have fun and take your time figuring out what will work for you.

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