Should I Call It Quits, Get Engaged, or Keep Trying? Here’s the Real Answer
You’ve been together for a while. Things aren’t awful. But they’re not amazing either.
And now you’re asking the hard question: should I call it quits, get engaged, or keep trying?
Here’s a no-fluff breakdown to help you figure it out — fast.
1. Don’t Decide When You’re Burnt Out
If you’re in a low moment — stressed, fighting, not sleeping — you’re not in the right headspace to make a call.
Take a week. Focus on your health. Then come back to the question.
Decisions made in survival mode usually suck.
2. Ask This: “Would I Choose This Relationship Again?”
Take everything you know now. Their flaws. Their strengths. Your story so far.
Would you say yes again — or walk away?
If it’s not a clear yes... that’s your clue.
3. Stop Asking If It’s “Normal”
Lots of couples stay stuck because they think all relationships are hard. Or boring. Or require endless compromise.
Here’s the truth:
- You shouldn’t feel like a therapist in your own relationship
- You shouldn’t dread spending time together
- You shouldn’t feel lonely when you’re sitting right next to them
If that’s “normal,” you don’t want it.
4. Are You Both Growing — or Just Surviving?
A good relationship doesn’t just avoid breakups. It pushes you forward.
Ask yourself:
- Have we gotten better at conflict — or just better at avoiding it?
- Are we excited about the future — or avoiding hard talks?
If you’re just managing, not moving — that’s not partnership. That’s stalling.
Mid-Article Boost: Tools to Get Real Clarity
5. Don’t Get Engaged to “Fix” Things
Engagement isn’t a solution. It doesn’t fix broken trust, resentment, or emotional distance.
If things are already tense — a ring makes it worse, not better.
Only commit deeper if it already works.
6. Pay Attention to the Energy (Not Just the History)
You’ve been together 3 years? Cool. But how does it feel *right now*?
Time invested is not a reason to stay.
If the vibe is dead, it’s dead — even if the photo album looks nice.
7. Look at Their Actions — Not Their Promises
Are they showing up? Growing with you? Listening and adjusting? Or are they making the same mistakes and blaming you for the fallout?
Don’t get stuck waiting for potential. Choose based on who they are — not who they say they might become.
8. What Does “Keep Trying” Actually Mean?
Trying doesn’t mean dragging yourself through another year of awkward dinners and avoidance.
It means:
- Talking honestly
- Going to therapy (solo or together)
- Taking space if needed
If you’re doing that and things improve — cool. If not, don’t stall the inevitable.
Final Word: Should I Call It Quits, Get Engaged, or Keep Trying?
If the relationship drains you more than it builds you — walk.
If it stretches you and grows you — keep building it.
And if it’s unclear? Hit pause. Take space. You’ll know when it’s time to commit — or cut ties. Trust that.