I came across a quote that God could not reach everywhere so he created Mothers! Indeed, it is true. One of the most precious moments for a woman is when she is on the verge to become a Mother. It is a long process with tonnes of physical, physiological, and emotional changes. Pregnancy is not only limited to giving birth, the repercussions are seen after the birth of an infant which is known as Postpartum stress disorder.

One of the fundamental things required while planning a child is the CONSENT of both the parents, especially the mother-to-be. As the woman will undergo a tremendous change in a couple of months, she has to be mentally, physically, and physiologically sound.

Pregnancy does not end by giving birth to the infant. It actually begins with birth. The entirely planned 9 months can go lucidly, but when the infant is born, the entire focus is shifted to him or her, leaving the mother unheard. Both the mother and child require equal attention post-delivery. After the birth of the infant, a proper pediatrician should be short-listed and consulted if any complications arise. For the mother, a proper nutritional meal should be taken care of so that she can take care of the child accordingly.

The most important part post-delivery is the acceptance of the infant – no matter if it is a girl or boy! Most women face postpartum depression because of the societal and family pressure of son meta preference, which leads to mothers’ suicidal thoughts or even suicide. Some of the working women, who have been on maternity leave should be assured of paid maternity leave and proper crèche facilities once they re-join the workplace. Not only the infants but also the mother’s care is inevitable at the workplace.

Family blossoms when every member is heard equally and cared for equally, instead of putting the burden of a caregiver on the mother, equal rights should be disseminated and a gender-neutral society should be created.  every person has a set of dreams which they wish to complete in their lifetime. As parents, their role is to motivate their children – both boys and girls to chase their dreams with full vigor. Being a woman should not put limits on her thoughts, beliefs, and principles. The role of both parents and mentors should be full of faith and confidence in her so that she can reach places and climb all peaks in her life. There should be full autonomy in a woman's decision-making; in her career, and in her personal life. This helps boost her morale and keep her motivated.

Few women out there even before reaching an age of maturity are married off. It’s good to settle in life, but it's best when both partners are ready and not under societal pressure. Even after settling down, the urge for a child arises from the family and society, it should have a veto of both the couple equally and mainly that of the woman. Some of the women leave their careers after the birth of their children. The urgency of a woman to be the sole caregiver should be amended. Both parents should be made equally responsible for taking care of their children. Due to huge gaps in careers, women do not get to the position they desire and end up frustrated. It is always great to restart a career at any age in life. If not a topmost position in an MNC, a small kindergarten and teaching few kids is also a great start.

HOW TO BALANCE BOTH WORK AND MOTHERHOOD – it’s a tough job to juggle work-life balance especially when you are a new mother. Constant care and attention are required for the infant more from the mother than the father. Although maternity leave has been extended in India as well as in other countries, paid leaves are not enough. An infant or even a grown kid requires either parent around them if any kind of emergency arises. There are day cares and a nanny available for the entire day, but a mother being around is the most impactful out of all.

Motherhood is an entire life-long process without any breaks or vacations. No matter the kid grows up and starts earning, there is a special room and requirement of a mother in everyone’s life. This makes it like some doldrums for the working mothers, they have to disperse their duties on both fronts; the workplace and their kids. Here are a few points for new mothers to help them balance both professional and personal front effectively –

·         Have a discussion with your employer – now a day’s workplace has become employee-friendly in many matters. From having sanitary napkin machines to crèche facilities, and period relief kits, every workplace understands the position of women without deteriorating it. Whenever a female employee is undergoing maternity leave or is about to rejoin the workplace, she should always talk to HR or the employer regarding her current health situation and the newborn’s health situation. Now a day many firms have facilities for both working from home and working from the office. It is a boon for mothers-to-be and new mothers as they don’t have to choose between their careers and infant care. Working from home can help keep a watch on the infant with timely food and medication and help complete work without getting lagged or losing a day’s salary.

· proper childcare – the working women out there should never feel selfish or guilty about the decision of continuing work at any age. It actually puts them in the superhuman category, where they know how to balance both work and home effectively. Working mothers should always keep their goal in mind, that they are working to provide their kids a better future in terms of lifestyle, education, facilities, etc. The mothers can go to good daycare facilities in the vicinity of their work so that they can peep in at lunchtime and can reach quickly whenever an emergency arises. If the working mother has her in-laws or mother’s home in the same city, she should also feel free to ask for their help in the daytime. This makes it more relaxing for the working mom, that their kid is in safe hands and will be alright the entire day.

·         Be there 24*7 – no matter how the work-load would be any day or how harsh the day would have gone for the mother, she should always be there as a support for the kids, sparing time for their parents-teacher meet, making packed lunch for them, receiving their calls, asking how the day went at the dinner table, planning weekends outdoors, etc. This makes the bond between the kid and mother stronger, transparent, and deeper.

The things covered here are not only limited to women, and new mothers, but also to men. Parenthood is a process in which both mother and father are equally involved so they should equally balance their work-life and parenting. It is always a good thing to know your partner, their needs, the issues their facing, etc. with this a gender-neutral and gender-sensitive society is created. The ICHHORI website with its articles is spreading the word of equality and a gender-neutral society. It has been successful in disseminating information on women's health, laws, relationship, and dating lucidly.


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