Signs you are being love-bombed

 Signs you are being love-bombed

Love bombing is the act of bombarding your partner in a relationship with flattery, praise, and devotion. Gifts, protracted messages, social media connections, and ardent vows of love are just a few ways that attention can be shown. Love bombing isn't wholly selfless, either. Love bombing is used by people who also want to feel lauded and adored. Therefore, they will lavishly treat their spouses in the hopes that they will do the same for them.

Giving someone your affection has no negative connotations. They want to spend time with someone you are falling for is only normal. Some people are only familiar with the gift-giving love language. That is also acceptable. However, when one's partner is just meant to feel guilty, reliant, and beholden by these actions, it is pure abuse.

The most basic definition of a "love bomb" is a flood of positive reinforcement intended to surprise the recipient. It can be quite harmful to the one receiving this love and is not merely a reflection of the mental well-being of the individual doing it. This is also considered a type of emotional abuse by experts.

Love bombers can also make it difficult for their partner to end the relationship since they sometimes use exaggerated expressions of regret or displays of affection to try to persuade their victim to stay. Partners who love bombs might have:

  • A background of unstable, abusive, or bitterly tense relationships.
  • Narcissistic personality disorder tendencies.
  • A fearful attachment manner.

Signs of love bombing

There are chances that you are being love-bombed and you might not even be aware of it because you are so overwhelmed with the love that you are receiving.  It varies from person to person but there are some signs you may relate to. They are;

Excessive compliments.

Everyone enjoys compliments, of course, but if your partner is blatantly going overboard and giving you constant praise, this may be cause for concern. Love bombers employ this strategy to make your sense of worth and self-worth dependent on their judgment. 

Going overboard with expensive gifts.

A love bomb is when your lover offers you extravagant presents and tells you how much money they cost. This could be a ruse to make you feel obligated to them because they've treated you so well or to pressure you into staying with them.

They constantly want to be with you.

It can be an indication that someone is anxiously attempting to move as swiftly with you if they try to spend an excessive lot of time with you regardless of your commitments or obligations to other people. This can be a problem if, for instance, you start ignoring your commitments to your family, your job, or other activities because you're spending a lot of time with the love bomber.

They shape themselves into what they believe you want.

A love bomber may occasionally try to pass for your ideal partner by constantly agreeing with what you say or what you wish to accomplish. It's important to note that this behavior is not representative of the person's true nature or even of the person you initially met. You can find discrepancies between what they said when you initially met them and what they say and do now.

Early on, they introduce you to important people.

After meeting you, love bombers might expose you to individuals who are significant to them, including their kids, relatives, or close friends. Several factors could be at play here. can give you the impression that things are moving rapidly and seriously in the relationship. Perhaps they have a history of abandonment dating back to their early years. Perhaps they were held captive and experienced violent relationships; as a result, they repeat the cycle and work to keep their captives hooked.

They make you feel guilty for having boundaries.

If you set a boundary, such as urging them to proceed more slowly in the relationship or telling them you're not yet ready to declare “I love you back,” a love bomber could become agitated and guilt-trip you. They may say, “Wow, I felt we had something special”, or “I assumed you were exceptional, but you're just like everybody else,” for instance.

They say "I love you" quickly.

People typically need some time to fall in love and feel secure enough to use the L word. A love bomber, on the other hand, might declare their love within days or weeks, although the typical period it takes someone to proclaim their love is roughly three months or more.

If something seems too good to be true or arrives too quickly, it probably is. Love doesn't depend on the other person thinking you're perfect; rather, it takes time to grow and blossom.

Right away, they want to live together.

Although sharing a home is an exciting step in a relationship, it usually happens after determining compatibility and shared values. Love bombers could attempt to move in with you right away to control you. Moving in so quickly may be more motivated by a desire to invade your entire life than a genuine desire to begin a life with you.

They immediately make a commitment to you.

A warning sign may be raised if a love bomber decides to become your boyfriend or girlfriend very soon after meeting you. This may suggest that the person is unaware of their own boundaries and yours and that they regularly change their life's commitments.

Things simply seem "off."

You could feel a little ashamed of how intense your relationship is because you don't want to be judged, you can play it down to others. You could still be wondering whether things are too wonderful to be true on some level. Abusive relationships are not always obvious from the outside. Having said that, your intuition is strong. Even if you sincerely care about the other person, it's worth looking into if something always feels strange.

Quickly becoming cold or withdrawing.

They used to seem to adore you to the last detail, but today they appear irritated, distant, or even hostile. This transformation is unsettling and perplexing, and you have no idea where it came from.

Love bombers are unable to continue their actions indefinitely. The relationship's flawless facade eventually begins to fall apart. Maybe you established a limit or maybe you wanted to take things more slowly. In either case, they start seeing your weaknesses and find them intolerable.

Love bombing can be harmful

Love bombing is especially hazardous because it might be hard to spot. We all know that the beginning of a new relationship may be exciting and joyful. The release of feel-good hormones like dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, and norepinephrine is also demonstrated by studies on the subject.

As a result, it can be challenging to tell the difference between love bombing and the giddy sense of falling in love. We all want to savor the excitement of a brand-new romance. Because of this, it's crucial to recognize the warning signs before you open yourself up to more forms of abuse.

Why is it hard to spot?

When one partner shows excessively strong and passionate interest in the other to control them, this behavior is known as "love bombing." Because our culture has been conditioned to believe that the conduct known as "love bombing" is a common expectation of romantic love, it can be challenging to identify.

A love bomber could also feel like a welcome change from emotionally unavailable bullies and ghosts if you're used to bad dates. Understanding typical abusive behavior patterns is crucial if you want to develop your ability to see through the smokescreen.

To further complicate matters, emotionally abusive or manipulative partners frequently take time to reveal their true selves.

How to save yourself if you feel unsure about the relationship?

It's crucial to take your time and carefully weigh all of your options before making a decision when you're in a new relationship and suspect you might be getting love-bombed.

Here are some strategies to take your time and determine whether the relationship is a good fit or if your new partner might be love-bombing you;

Create space.

Setting clear boundaries for yourself can help you create the room you need to digest things. Early on, these limits must be honored; if they are not, it may be a clue that their romantic words and actions are actually love bombs.

Make a relationship inventory.

Take into account where you both are coming from, what you both want, and how your relationship is progressing in terms of self-respect, extracurricular activities, relationship expectations, communication, and other aspects that may be important to you. To make sure you are feeling confident about their goals with you, it's vital to take it slow and think about having these discussions if these things are not being discussed or are being glossed over.

Speak with an unbiased outsider.

Gaining an objective viewpoint can be achieved by speaking with a therapist or a group of trustworthy friends. It's crucial to think carefully about who you talk to and whether they can try their best to be fair because family and friends are frequently biased.

Don't be the only one in the relationship to express yourself. 

Any relationship should have a two-way sharing of vulnerabilities and insecurities, which must occur at the appropriate moment. If the other person hasn't mentioned their weaknesses, don't either. They might use it against you as a weapon.

Keep in touch with your friends and family. 

Continue seeing your loved ones so they can occasionally serve as a reality check for you.

Convince them to seek medical help.

To try to save your relationship with a love bomber, you should persuade them to get counseling. To handle this issue as healthily as possible, you can speak with a clinical psychologist who is licensed to practice or enroll in couple therapy.

The first cautionary sign of love bombing is when you feel complimented and impressed at every turn, which makes love blind you. Equal respect, affection, sensible boundaries, and compromise are all aspects of true love. Love bombing, however, comes off as abrupt and inappropriate. Some people use the technique known as "love bombing" to force someone into a relationship sooner and more intensely than they would like to. People who have a history of abusive relationships, narcissists, or neurotic attachment styles are more likely to engage in it. Make sure your relationship is healthy by keeping an eye out for any warning signs of love bombing or other red flags.

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