Why do women go on dates where men don’t ask them questions?

Why do women go on dates where men don’t ask them questions?


Why do women go on dates where men don’t ask them questions?

Why conversations on dates are so bad and awkward? Let us have a look.


The only complaint I hear from women, again and again, is, “He never asked me a thing about myself?”. It does seem to be a real issue where either a man is clueless or oblivious, conversationally on a first date or “no matter what the topic” they kept on blathering about themselves. I often wonder if that kind of man would even notice if you passed out of boredom and slipped off your chair. 


But why are so many of them bad? Why haven’t they yet figured out that by going on… and on... and without showing the least bit of interest or concern in the person on the stool next to him, they’re running their chances (and making us miserable). 


Is never being asked questions about yourself 2021’s worst dating trend? 

In a viral tweet that captured the internet’s attention this month, journalist Helen Coffey asked: “Fellow journalists: have you ever been on a mediocre date that the other person thought was amazing because “the conversation really flowed” and you’re like, yeah babe, that’s because I inadvertently slipped into work mode and kept up a constant stream of insightful questions??”

Thousands of people of all professions responded with their own tales of being talked to by dates who were too cocky or arrogant to let them get a word in edgeways. It painted a really bitter and sad picture of dating in 2021.

Here are a few comments where people responded and shared their views: 

  •    So, read one shocking reply: “I’m not a journalist, but if a date conversation is one-sided, I do set myself the challenge to see how many questions I can ask in a series without being asked anything about myself. The record is 107,”
  •    I have been on several dates where the only question a guy has asked was, ‘Are you Emma?’,” revealed another.


Here are stories of two women about the most- conversation starved dates they’ve been on. 


“No matter the topic, the conversation revolved around himself” shared by ( Elora)


Here is a story of a  girl named Elora from London who went on a date with a man who was the definition of “self-absorbed”. So, this is how it started, they both met on a dating app and had arranged to go out for a dinner date. He was extremely confident and chatty which is usually a great thing to help calm those first date nerves, she told. But later, after five minutes she realised that the guy had actually not asked a single question about her. 


No matter the topic, the conversation revolved around him even when I tried to interrupt and give my own perspective, he turned it straight back around to him. The constant interruptions made me feel so irritated, and quite frankly a little bored. There is only so much one-way conversation that can be had” she said.


The breaking point was when the guy insisted on ordering food for her and he asked the waiter for steak, which was a total shock to her because she’d mentioned multiple times to him that she was a vegetarian. No doubt, she was irritated and she wanted to get up and leave straight away, but insteadshe sat and ate her food. She listened to him while he continued to talk about himself until they finished their main course.



“He clearly wasn’t very good at reading the room and invited me back to his after. It’s safe to say I politely declined and never saw him again” Elora explained. 



“He wasn’t bothered or interested in getting to know me at all” shared by 



Another story is of a girl named Rose from Nottingham who went on a date during summer dealing with quite bad anxiety. She was worried that she wouldn’t be able to keep a good conversation up with the guy


“I tried hard to make sure that I was attentive with questions to get to know my date, but found that he hardly asked any back. He just didn’t seem like he wanted to date me, just talk about himself” she said. 


But there was quite a lot of silence in the conversation, which at the time she wasn’t bothered by as she thought it meanthat they both were comfortable enough in each other’s presence 


Even after this, she believed that when men are bad at asking questions over text she always give them the benefit of the doubt that they ‘won’t be like that in real life. But now she definitely believes that a lot of men just use the conversation to centre themselves and prove to you that they’re notable and great.



In conclusion, this is a depressing phenomenon where men don’t ask questions about their dates. However, a more significant explanation for the phenomenon is narcissism, a personality trait more in men than women. However, women are in general, expected to be people pleasers. 

Lastly, men who don’t ask questions to their dates don’t even realize that because they are busy bragging about themselves. The kicker? Most of the men walk away thinking they nailed it. 







Previous Post Next Post