Can girls make the first move? In 2025, that question shouldn't even need asking — but outdated gender norms still have many women waiting for the guy to act first. Whether it’s approaching someone at a café, texting first after a match, or saying “I like you” out loud, the stigma around women initiating is fading — slowly, but surely.
More than ever, women are taking control of their love lives, setting standards, and rewriting the rules. If you’re wondering whether it’s okay, attractive, or even strategic to make the first move — the answer is a confident yes.
Why don’t more women make the first move?
- Fear of rejection: Women are conditioned to expect the man to initiate, so rejection feels doubly humiliating
- Social stigma: Some still believe it’s “desperate” or “too forward”
- Media stereotypes: Most films and books show men chasing, women waiting
- Mixed signals: What if the guy thinks it’s weird or doesn’t take you seriously?
But here’s the truth: these beliefs are rooted in patriarchy — not logic. And modern dating needs modern courage.
What do men think about women making the first move?
According to a 2024 Hinge survey:
- 72% of men said they find it attractive when a woman initiates
- Only 18% of women reported doing it regularly
- The #1 reason men appreciated it? “It shows clarity and confidence”
In reality, many men are nervous to approach, fear rejection, or assume you’re not interested unless you give a green light. Making the first move clears up that tension — and often leads to more meaningful connections.
Types of first moves (It’s not just asking someone out)
- Smiling, holding eye contact, and starting a casual conversation
- Liking multiple photos or replying to a story on Instagram
- Sending the first message on dating apps (e.g. Bumble, where women must initiate)
- Saying “You’re interesting, I’d love to grab coffee sometime”
- Flirting subtly with intention — compliments, teasing, curiosity
Mid-article reads from ichhori.com:
Benefits of making the first move as a woman
- You take control of your narrative: No waiting, no guessing
- You weed out indecisive or passive people early
- It boosts your confidence — regardless of the outcome
- You set the tone for mutual effort: Not one-sided chasing
How to make the first move (without making it awkward)
1. Keep it low-stakes
“Hey, I really like your vibe. Want to chat sometime?” is enough. You’re not proposing marriage — you’re just opening a door.
2. Lead with curiosity
Ask a question. Comment on something specific. “That book in your photo — did it live up to the hype?”
3. Use humour
A witty comment, light roast, or cheeky question goes a long way. Laughter lowers defences.
4. Don’t overthink the response
If they say yes, great. If they don’t respond or reciprocate, it says more about them than you. Move on gracefully.
Common myths about women who initiate — and the truth
- “She’s desperate.” → No, she’s decisive.
- “Men don’t like being chased.” → Most men appreciate shared effort.
- “He’ll think I’m too aggressive.” → If he’s threatened by initiative, he’s not emotionally mature enough for you.
Dating apps that empower women to make the first move
- Bumble: Women must message first — sets the tone for equality
- Hinge: Encourages quality convos and thoughtful prompts
- OkCupid: Customisable filters and questions allow meaningful first moves
More ichhori.com reads for strong, intentional women:
Final Thoughts
Can girls make the first move? Absolutely — and more should. It’s not about reversing roles. It’s about breaking cycles. About saying: “I like you, and I’m not afraid to show it.” Making the first move doesn’t make you aggressive — it makes you authentic. And in a dating world that’s tired of playing games, authenticity is the new sexy.