When you move to London, there are 12 things you should know about dating.
Dating
can be intimidating enough on its own, but when you're in a new location, it's
even more so. That's a completely different ballgame. Consider this your
insider's guide to dating in London's dos and don'ts.
Traditional methods are a distant memory
People
used to meet at pubs, bars, and even (would you believe it?) on the tube before
the advent of internet dating. Isn't it a little retro? If you're an old
romantic hoping to run and meet your modern-day prince charming who will gladly
give up his uber, share an umbrella, or even buy you a drink, you've come to
the wrong city. In other words, nights out should be viewed only as time spent
with friends if you haven't digitally pre-arranged a meeting. What's our
recommendation? If you stay away from all 90s rom-coms, your expectations may
be less shattered.
Don’t expect a conversation pre-date
Londoners
are usually one of two things: fumbling and awkward, or overconfident. Expect
no pre-date discussion, partly because what on earth would you talk about when
you first meet and partly because the English have a general attitude of
just getting on with it. Tick to secure the date. There are a few exceptions to
the rule, and you might be one of the unlucky ones who match with someone who
appears to be looking for a pen pal rather than a date. Unfortunate
circumstances. Too much chit-chat and no invitation to meet? It's time to
progress to the next step.
The 'city' is a hotspot for males with a lot of money and much more attitude.
Even
if they're at the bottom of the corporate ladder and are assigned to whichever
insurance company, bank, or wealth management firm they work for, the 'city
guys,' as they're known, are likely to be on the aforementioned 'over the top
arrogant' end of the attitude spectrum. Yes, there is a lot of money to be
earned in such areas, but thank you for not telling us about it.
Beards are most definitely a thing
There's
the city boy, and then there's the hipster — two very different types of people
who are equally well-known in the dating world. Expect beards that are
well-kept, tattoo sleeves, and iPod headphones that are permanently affixed to
the inner ear. These cool kids used to hang out in Shoreditch until it became
too mainstream, so they now live in Hackney and Dalston, wearing vintage
lumberjack shirting and ordering craft beer and veggie burgers in plenty.
When you Google "the most romantic restaurants in London," a specific restaurant comes up.
In
Covent Garden, it's known as Clos Maggiore. Clever marketing, but not so clever
are the males who reserve a table here. Yes, it's lovely, and the food is
unquestionably delicious, but it's neither personal nor inventive, so we advise
you to do a bit more study. With so many options and fresh things to do in the
city every week, setting a table here seems a little careless. Any day of the
week, we'll take street cuisine and a martini in a plastic cup over a tourist
trap, and you'll almost certainly save a bundle in the process.
...but if you're invited to an All Bar One, go off like a bullet.
This
applies to all areas of the UK, not just London, and is true of most chains
while dating in the city, with the exception of Nandos. This is never an acceptable
alternative, regardless of what explanation they've come up with.
Bumble is the app all the cool kids are using
Tinder,
your time has come to an end. In London, it's all about Bumble right now; the
app where the woman has to make the first move, and quickly — you only have 24
hours after matching with someone to start a discussion. For those who are
quaking in their boots at the prospect, take heart: you will be ignored at
times, but this is a numbers game, and you must cast a wide net. If you don't
get a response, don't be discouraged; he probably wouldn't have had anything to
say anyhow.
However, you will almost certainly be confronted with at least one ex/friend ex/notch on the bedpost.
With
a city the size of London, you'd think the chances of running into someone you
know on applications like Bumble would be slim, right? Wrong. Your
ex-boyfriend, your best friend's ex-boyfriend, your friend's current boyfriend,
and a face that somewhat resembles someone you might have woken up next to
after a tequila-fueled night is the worst-case situations. Carry out some
background research. Remember, the internet is your oyster, so take advantage
of it. Learn everything you can about the people you do end up chatting to in
order to avoid accidentally dating your employer or something similarly as bad.
Pictures can speak 1,000 words
Despite
the fact that they don't always. There's nothing worse than going on a date
with someone who looks nothing like his web representation. What is the best
way to avoid this sorry situation? Take a look at our list of no-when no's it
comes to profile pictures. They include but are not limited to, zero images
without sunglasses (what are you hiding behind their mysterious man), gym
mirror selfies (because vanity isn't an attractive trait), photos only
surrounded by other people (his friends aren't coming on your first date), and
no bios that include the phrase "Nextflix and chill" (because we
shouldn't have to explain this one).
When it comes to paying the bill, be prepared to feel uneasy.
It's
fair to say that discussing feminism isn't the simplest of issues to bring up,
especially when you've just met someone. Paying the bill, on the other hand,
can be the most embarrassing part of the whole ordeal. In today's world, a
50/50 split would be ideal, but custom says that a gentleman should pay — what
a conundrum! What is the story's moral? Unfortunately, there is no right or
incorrect answer. One thing to keep in mind: if you're the one who's suggested
an expensive restaurant, don't even consider taking a well-timed bathroom trip
when the bill arrives.
Become familiar with the word 'ghosting.'
According
to the holy grail that is the urban dictionary, ghosting is a term commonly
known as; ‘Suddenly ceasing all communication with someone the subject is
dating, but no longer wishes to date. This is done in the hopes that the
ghost will "get the hint" and leave the subject alone, rather than
the subject notifying them that he or she is no longer interested.' Everyone,
at some point in their dating experience, has ghosted. Don't deny it; you did
it, and you can't blame others when it's your turn. Yes, it's brutal, but it
gets the job done.
It's a long-term strategy.
If
your ultimate objective is to have a meaningful relationship rather than just a
fling to pass the time, be prepared to put in some serious effort. Don't be
surprised if he doesn't get down on one knee and tell you he wants you to have
his babies after two months because a) this isn't the 1950s and b) Londoners
are busy. Quite occupied. In April of this year, the BBC stated that Londoners
work an average of 3 weeks more per year than the rest of the UK, and with
statistics like that, plus social life to maintain and workouts to organize,
the window for dating is left quite a little. In short, patience is a virtue,
and if you don't know how to use it, now is the time to learn.