Five Dating Tips for Marriage
Women share the dating wisdom they've acquired through many trying years.
Ricki
found her husband at the age of 37 following a broken engagement, a significant
change in lifestyle and approach to dating, and numerous plane rides; Sarah
didn't know how she'd find her husband, coming from a traditional background
while pursuing a career as a doctor. Talia* had been dating since she was 20
years old and had finally found her husband at 45. These women shared their
years of difficult dating in an honest, open discussion and gave helpful
advice. Following are their top five takeaways.
1. Focus on Yourself!
Being
single is a wonderful opportunity to develop personally. Work on being the best
you can be rather than being destructively self-centered. Sarah acknowledges how
much she had to change during her eight years of courtship before marriage in
order to make a mature choice for her spouse. "Life is all about bettering
oneself, I came to understand. Your destined partner will be better as long as
you put more effort into improving yourself."
Similar
to this, Ricki quips, "Instead of asking, "Hey, where's my
husband?" Send him my way. Nothing is promised in life, which is true
effort."
Many
people believe that being married assures one's place in society, but single
people should never underestimate their value as individuals. Talia refused to
let herself feel depressed over the course of their 25-year relationship.
Instead, she focused on giving back to her family and community while advancing
her therapy career. "Recognize your significance in society. Recognize
that being single is not your fault, that you truly desire marriage, and that
marriage is something you deserve." Feel good about your contributions to
society, your self-worth, and your suitability for marriage. Positive thinking
is a social creature.
2. Look past the idealized notion of love at first sight
When
they meet the proper person, ladies frequently have the mistaken belief that
they should experience butterflies, but this is not the case, according to
Ricki. "Real feelings might develop when you first simply like someone
before learning more about their personality."
Spend
some time getting to know the person's inner personality rather than
concentrating just on the attractiveness component. When we date, we have a lot
of preconceived expectations, Talia says. "It would be simpler for older
singles if they didn't place such a strong focus on what they view as
significant. such as whether he is taller, shorter, heavier, thinner,
attractive, or less attractive. All of those things don't matter at all."
It
is essential to be prepared for marriage and to make a decision to make it
work. As long as you have open communication about your future plans and share
the same goals, Talia continues, "You could marry virtually anyone."
Be
open and don't have a long list of requirements, advises Ricki. Though neither
of these possibilities matched her interests in the slightest, she nevertheless
chose to wed a guy of foreign nationality and relocate to his hometown. Because
there is eventually a higher plan and it doesn't involve things like "he
should be this tall, have this degree, or possess this or that," most
females don't marry men who meet their original list of requirements.
When
it comes to choosing a life partner, which is such a significant task, good
assistance is essential. The dating world is not always a pleasant one, whether
it be because of singles events, matchmakers, or friends who are only trying to
help.
Talia,
for instance, advises against speaking with other singles and promotes using a
coach or go-between who is an impartial third party. "Many older
individuals develop a sour and depressed attitude, which is noticeable when you
inquire about a guy. Having a mentor who can advise you on dating is really
helpful. This person should be someone you can meet and speak with on how to
progress a relationship."
According
to Sarah, "I had the most success with my friends who cared about me and
were trying to watch out for me." They understood that I required a highly
intelligent and empathetic person.
4. Make Yourself Wider
Be
alert with your ears and eyes. Even if a date doesn't go as planned, it might
be an opportunity to show a buddy an incredible gesture of compassion.
Dating,
according to Ricki, is a wonderful opportunity to consider other ladies who
might be compatible with the man who wasn't suited for you. "Thank your
lucky stars that you got to go on a date, and then consider who you might know
who might be a good match for this individual. Do something kind for someone
else." When we show compassion to others, it frequently returns to us in
much greater measure.
5. Continue to pray and don't give up
One
can only imagine the vast reservoirs of faith Talia had to draw from after 25
years of courting. She claims that "deep faith can get you through
anything." "You have to truly, sincerely, wholeheartedly
believe."
Work
on maintaining a pleasant attitude and being grateful for the numerous
blessings in your life as well. Even if it is really challenging for us, we
must understand that this is our test, adds Ricki. "That is not their test
for those females who get married soon."
Speak
to the Almighty in whatever language you are most comfortable using, and
express your faith that He can assist you.