Here's Why You Shouldn't Use "Hey" as a Pickup Line on Dating Apps
Let's get one thing
straight: Unless you're deliberately attempting to be ignored, saying
"hello" or "hi" or any other variation of it is not the
greatest method to strike up a conversation on a dating app. In that situation,
move ahead without hesitation. I nearly guarantee that you will wind up in the
stack of unsuccessful matches.
In actuality, saying
"hello" to a friend or coworker could be a completely fine approach
to strike up a discussion. You begin with "hello" and end with a
Stranger Things debriefing. But here's how it works: You are not approaching a
person with whom you are already acquainted. You're speaking to an online
stranger who is probably trying to put a wager on which online strangers they
should speak to while fending off the growing numbness that comes with looking
through three billion dating profiles. He is at best uninteresting and at worst
enrage-inspiring.
Hey is simply
insufficient. This is in part because you're presenting yourself to the person
you're seeking to connect with, just like you are with your images, bio, and
other profile features. Additionally, you only have a little window to present
your case before someone decides whether or not to give you their time. A
simple "hey" does not imply seriousness, an attempt, or a guarantee
of future polite dialogue.
In conclusion, saying
"hello" is the worst thing since wearing socks and stepping on a wet
patch on your kitchen floor. Not at all. Just. Avoid doing it.
What say you, then?
Folks, this isn't science
at all. The antidote to a soul-crushingly generic greeting, though, is spending
some time looking at the profile of the other person. Try posing a query in
response to something they've said. Do they enjoy cooking? Inquire about their
preferred recipe. Do you enjoy live music? Find out which musicians they want
to see live. Big fan of Star Wars? Inquire as to why Obi-Wan Kenobi won't dress
in disguise.
You're merely attempting
to establish a rapport before veering into a more casual conversation about
whatever matters to both of you. The first communication is just a minor
obstacle to get in the way of deciding whether you want to meet up in person or
if the other person has the personality of a damp mop.
However, you can also
send a GIF of a waving panda or search the internet for witty starting
statements like "Does pineapple belong on pizza?" You certainly can.
It could work. But I'd argue that the technique of conversation-starting is a
little bit assembly-line-like.
Remember that it's simple
to feel like you're on some sort of nightmare, crowded merry-go-round when it
comes to internet dating. Just consider how pleasant it would be to receive a
message from someone who seemed interested in you.